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How would you feel?

My MIL went out and bought my engagement ring AFTER dh showed her the ring and told me about it. She told me how much it costed and everything. Dh said something to her and she said that she had taken it back. A few weeks later, I saw her wearing it. Once again, she told dh that she took it back and "Everything bothers her!" He said that it bothered him too and she hung up on him. WELL, I just saw her wearing on Fri. when she came to pick up my dd, BUT when we got to the restaurant (I went along), she had taken it off>>>obviously to hide it from me. Now, I have lost all respect for her. Why is having something materialistic more important than our feelings? More important than her son's feelings? I just don't understand it. How did neither of them (fil was there) realize how wrong this is? I am so PISSED and HURT that I don't even know what to say. I told dh not to even say anything, because obviously ....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Clearly, MIL is leaving in a highly critical, competetive dreamworld. If you don't want to live there with her, let her have her fun.

    Truly: can you be big enough to allow her such a shallow, impersonal and irrelevant pleasure, if that's what it gives her? If she's so easily amused, if she needs to have one of everything that everyone else has so she doesn't feel left out, if she's so wracked with insecurity that she needs this kind of stuff to bolster her self-esteem... poor her, eh?

    Fighting with her (or anyone on the planet) is a waste of energy: she can buy another one, she can have a replica made --truly, there is no way to stop her from being as bizarre as she is going to be about this. Since you didn't make her bizarre (and neither did your husband), you are free of responsibility to change her.

    Let her be. If it makes her happy, yay. If it makes her miserable, yay. Whatever.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:53 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • ...it makes no difference. How should I feel about this woman now? Her and dh are VERY close. I think she's in some competition with me. This was no cheap ring either. On any given day, she will be wearing 6 diamond rings. What was the need to have my EXACT ring? When it first happened, I posted and some women said "Well, if she has the money, she can buy whatever she wants.... but WHY? WHY? WHY? She knows we were bothered by it and chooses to be not only a liar, but deceitful and sneaky? Would you do this to your child and daughter in law? I don't get it. Also, she also does the opposite of what I tell her with my dd. I'll give her food and she lets it go bad and then leaves it in the diaper bag so that I can see it was never eaten. It's one thing to forget, but hell, throw it out, don't send it home. How would you feel? I think dh is really hurt. He took time to find me a beautiful ring...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I shouldn't have to see on my MIL's finger. I think she's awful now. Also, I think she wants my daughter for herself. She's upset that she only has boys and wants MY BABY. I no longer trust her in any way, shape or form.

    Does this sound psycho to anyone else?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • So this ring is the same as yours or it was supposed to be yours? If it's the same ring you already have, I'd let it go. It is obviously a nice ring. If it was to be your ring and she went and bought before your DH, than what a controlling underhanded self-centered B*&CH! To put it nicely, she has mother son issues.
    babyboyzz

    Answer by babyboyzz at 1:17 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • He had already given it to me and saw it on my finger before she bought it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • To bad it's not just flattery. My mom has a ton of stuff I wish I could afford, but I wouldn't buy the exact same wedding/engagment ring as someone close to me. That ring is special to you and your husband. YOu and your husband may have a long fight ahead of you to get her to understand that.
    babyboyzz

    Answer by babyboyzz at 1:23 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • How did he give it to you already if he hadn't bought it yet?

    MIL sounds spiteful and mean. I'd limit my time with her and not have her watch my kids after what you said about the food.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:09 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

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