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Why does he do this???

Everytime my boyfriend of three years and I fight, he drags it on FOREVER. I hate to fight. If I'm wrong, I admit it, want to talk it out and end it. Yesterday, we got into a fight, I was wrong, adimitted it and he dragged it on through last night and into today. He took off for a few hours and when he came back, I wanted to talk things out. "I'm tired". It's always his excuse when I want to have a serious talk!! He either ignores me (which makes me mad again) or says something stupid ("You're just crazy...you need help"). I don't understand WHY he does this!! And it makes me wonder WHY are we even together?? He's 31 years old and acts like a damn child. I love him but I'm starting to wonder why!!! Am I alone in this or are any of you ladies experiencing the same thing?

 
CrystalJanie

Asked by CrystalJanie at 1:27 AM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (65 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • it makes me wonder WHY are we even together??


    You're together because YOU haven't reached the breaking point yet, and are allowing the relationship to continue. If YOU are not happy, YOU can (and should IMO) walk away. If he TRULY values your relationship, he will fight for it, otherwise, you have your answer.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 12:15 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • DO NOT.. I REPEAT DO NOT MARRY HIM!!! No matter what you do don't go there. If he is "stone-walling" you now it will only get worse when you get married. He has a communication problem and relationships are based on communication. If you can't discuss what is wrong.. or how you feel and move forward you will end up resenting him and holding your feelings in ( which isn't healthy or fair to you!)... He says "your crazy!", "you need help!" because he is NOT willing to change FOR YOU.. what it is that is hurting you. He isn't taking the relationship as seriously as you are.. Good luck! Possibly get him in couples counseling if you want the relationship to grow.. but as it stands.. you are in it by yourself!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Idk about not marryig him but you definately need to work on communication. Look no relationship is perfect I have been with my husband for almost 11 years in October and he still tells me I am crazy and yes... That I need help! Lol we love each other to death and at the en of the day is just a disagreement and a battle to prove the other wrong.. We are both very strong minded people and we both think we are right the key is to find a healthy medium regarding your opinions if you are willing to continue to invest time in the relationship it will take time just look at me! 11 years and still working at it.. Good luck!
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:58 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • He's a narcisistic control freak...just throws a big tantrum then pouts in order to manipulate you so that in the future, you'll do anything to please him in order to avoid his mistreatment of you. My x was like that, after awhile I began to clue into the fact that even when it seemed he was being sweet & loving, he really was just behaving that way in order to get me to treat him the way he wanted to be treated..am I making sense? You sound mature and intelligent, you need and deserve someone more attuned to you on an emotional level...he's completely self absorbed, to cut to the chase, maybe he doesn't not love you, he is just incapable of giving a shit about anyone other than himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • The only time me abusive x ever said I was crazy was when I was right~! He doesn't want to hear what you have to say because he knows he's a fkn pr*ck so he calls your crazy to belittle you and make you feel as small as you are making him feel by pointing out what an a'hole he is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • It takes two to keep an argument going. When he starts, just walk away. My SO won't argue. If I start or bring up something that will lead to a fight he shuts up and walks away or hangs up. I finally learned to stop.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:20 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Run the other way!!! WELL, if you really love him go to a counselor before you get married. My husband is the same way. He wasn't when we first met but after about a year and half he started to act that way. I made the mistake of marrying him. Now he is all settled into his ways. We went to counseling and he hasn't changed. He promised he would and I held out hoping. Well he hasn't. Just be careful it can suck the life out of you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

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