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kids and helping around the home they say it is not fair?

my kids tell me it is not faair that they have to help around the home and not get any money. and that i ask to much out of them.

13 year old clean off the counters/everyother day wash dishes

12 year old clean off the table

10 year old pick up toys out of living room

6 year old pick up cloths out of bathroom befor bed

everyone has to help with lundry and sweep hte floor in the room they have.

do you think it is to much to ask of them? and should i pay them to help me?i get them what they want if i have the money. what do you think???????? keep inmind i do this by myself. there dad passed away.i work 10 hours a day

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 AM on Sep. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Don't pay them anything, They live there, they make the messes, they eat the food, they sleep in the beds. They should learn to be happy about having those things. My kids give me crap about cleaning too and they also hardly do anything, but they're 6, 4, and 2. I'd only pay them anything if they did something above and beyond what you asked, or if it was something that they had nothing to do with, Like washing your car.. well i don't know, something that would typically be just your job.

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 3:52 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • There's no reason they shouldn't be responsible for a small part of maintaining a household. You're supposed to raise responsible, capable adults. These are lessons as well as shared responsibilities.

    Answer by SWasson at 7:01 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • sure you should pay them!......then hand them a bill for room and board, meals, Shaffer service, their share of the mortgage or rent oh and don't forget their share of the utilities! and come to think of it don't they owe you for all those clothes in the closet? and when are they going to get around to reimbursing you for all the medical/ dentalexpenses. You also may hate to break it to them but they owe you for wear and tear on the house so your going to have to take it out of their security deposit...what you didn't get one?! well just add that to the bill..............


    Answer by Bjoycassell at 7:23 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Sit down and have each child make a list, as well as yourself and your SO. List what each of you does to maintain the house. Include grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. Keep working, school, and bill paying out.

    Compare lists. Explain to your child that EVERYONE lives in the house and everyone needs to contribute to make it a safe place to live. Explain that each person in that home has the right to a safe, clean, comfortable place to live and that you need their help with that.

    Answer by epoh at 8:25 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • My kids do a heck of a lot more then that and they are only 9, 7, 6 and 3 and they don't get paid for any of it. Getting paid implies they are doing something above and beyond or something special. Helping take care of the house they live in and cleaning up the messes they make is not something special. It's just expected.
    My oldest is 9 and she empties the dishwasher twice a week, cleans up any mess she makes in the kitchen including scrubbing counters/tables, sweeping and mopping. She cleans her own room, does her own laundry (from taking it to the basement to folding it and putting it away). She keeps stuff picked up in the rest of the house, helps take trash out, helps carry in groceries, sweeps the floors in other rooms, helps with her 3yo sister, keeps the yard clean, helps when I cut grass, waters the flowers in our garden and anything else I ask.
    I tell them I don't get paid and neither do they.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:50 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • My son is 9 and he feeds the dog when he is finished eating he has to clean up his plate. He gets away with not doing everything else so it is something I have to live with but to me your doing what any parent would expect.

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 10:23 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I give my son an allowance but it is based on doing chores above and beyond what is expected in the house. His basic chores are keeping his room and bathroom clean, feeding and walking the dog and he is responsible for taking out the garbage. He also has to pick up and clean after himself no matter what room he is in.

    He earns money for dusting, vacuuming the house, moping, throwing in laundry, cleaning the garage, mowing or weeding the garden. He gets 1-3 bucks per chore depending on what it is. My son does most of them he likes to earn money. He still has plenty of time to hang out with friends and my house and yard stay spotless.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • If they want to pay you for shopping, cooking, doing laundry, etc., then you can pay them.

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:14 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • its fair. We are all a family, we all live here and we all do our part. I support allowances but not nec. for chores, somethings are just of being a family.
    Dang if they want to argue to much tell them : heres a list of your jobs as part of this family unit/household, now I want you guys to come up with my list/ what to I (and dad/other adults) do to contribute to the family/household.
    Compare list, you want mine I'll trade.
    Honestly for their age they're not responsible for much. My mom had us each take a spot after dinner, counter, floors, dishes (wash), dishes (put away) -- how much you had to do depended on how many kids were there for dinner, not to mention wiping down walls on the weekend, vaccuming, dusting etc. Other than helping take the clothes out of the wash and put them away. (By 13 we were doing ALL of the ABOVE)

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:06 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • oh and I forgot cleaning the bathroom (except the toilet), helping with the yard work, taking out the trash, extras were the yourd work (mowing - which only my bro did b/c I sucked at it) and washing the car. We could possibely earn points/money for those major jobs but other than that -- money for chores, NO WAY we all live in this house and we all mess it up PERIOD.

    So tell your kids they can I have my old chore list instead of theirs LOL

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:09 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

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