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Right thing to do?

I met a guy and we became good friends. Im a single mom with one child and he has two. When I met him he was seperated from his kids mother. We bonded immediately and there was definitely chemistry. A few months later we started dating. I had the best times of my life staying up late talking all night. We had so much in common its was ridiculous. It was like he was me but a male version. We always had fun together and grew very much in love. We met each others families and we grew close to each others kids. The only time we fought was when his ex would try and come into the picture....it started to get tough and eventually he left me to go back with her. He claims it was more about being there for his kids and that he still loved me very much. Im heart broken but i stepped back because i didnt want to feel like a homewrecker. Dont know how this happened. Now i question if what we had was real. was it the right thing to do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:32 AM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • It sucks for you but he's doing the right thing by his family and it would have been wrong for you to try and prevent him doing that. He'd have always wondered what if and probably wound up resenting you on some level even while being in love with you. I know it hurts and probably feels like the wrong thing right now but you can get past this. Give yourself some time then get back out there, find someone else. There are plenty of decent guys out there who are more available.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 6:58 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • If he was still legally married, no, it was not the right thing to do. I know this because I too dated a man that was going through a divorce at the same time that I was going through my divorce. We both ended up divorcing but it did not make it right. When somebody is going through that they should not be dating, it complicates things too much. Let the man & his wife work on their marriage....that is the right thing to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Well....good for him for trying to work it out. That's what I would want in that relationship....however, that sucks for you sweetie. Sorry that you had your heart broken. Hope you feel better soon.
    mollymomofthree

    Answer by mollymomofthree at 8:17 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • It's always hard when you get emotionally attached while they are not available even though he was separated. Sometimes men use that separation time to check others out. If it was real then he'll get the divorce and come back. Experiences are never a waste though, we can learn from each one, good or bad.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:25 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • NOTE: By "seperated" I meant not together .....he was NEVER married. Sorry i didnt make that clear.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • He used you while he was working on things with her. It wasn't real he would be with you if it was. You were fun for him but he wanted her. Having you made her jealous and he used you to get her back. Move on and don't talk to the creep again. He will use you again when things between them get tough again if you let him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • You did the right thing by stepping back. He should not have started something before he was done with another. I know its hard.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 1:26 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Hold up now. Just bc it wasnt real to him doesnt mean it wasnt real. And just bc he chose her doesnt de value the time you spent together. He chose her, for whatever reason and you can never really know what was in his heart. It was right for you to step back, it was mature and its what you do when you love someone. But that doesnt mean you didnt love him, it doesnt make your feelings and emotions any less real or valid. And just bc two people are in love doesnt make it right for them to be together. Be strong, in time the pain will heal.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 1:31 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Thank you ladies for all ur input....im feeling a little better about my situation now. And ur right it is hard and it does suck...but i feel better knowing i did the right thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

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