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Question for moms who spank

Please don't bash me or debate spanking. I just have a question for moms who believe in spanking. My 3yo ds is going through the terrible threes in a big way. I've tried just about evertything I can think of, including some spankings, which have just been pops on his pants and pullup. My MIL visited, and told me at this age I should be pulling down his pants so it stings, otherwise spankings won't be effective. I'm curious how many of you all who do believe in spanking pull down pants (not older kids, but when they're 3-4)?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 AM on Sep. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (29)
  • My DH took care of the spankings at that age and he would make sure they hurt or else it was useless. After they turn 4, all spanks are done with. It's at this age to set the stage and put your foot down. Don't feel guilty either and reward them with ice cream afterwards. I see a lot of parents do that. The guilt they get is nerve racking and they end up rewarding hte child with stuff.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I hate to say it but spankings were pretty much ineffective on my 2 1/2 year old until one day I pulled her pants down and laid her across my lap and gave her a swat on the butt.

    I only swatted her once but that was finally enough. It corrected that behavior in a hurry. I've only had to spank her twice that way and I only use spankings as a last resort. We use time outs and redirection almost exclusively but some times a little more is needed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • If I feel the need to make myself REALLY heard, I spank her thigh. The back part, right below her bottom. Not hard, but any kind of skin to skin contact with definitely startle a child. If she is wearing long pants, no, I don't make the effort to pull them down.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • We use spankings also ofcourse as a last resort. But sometime children need a spanking I got them when I was little and I turned out just fine. And if you dont like to pull the pants down on your child and spank there is nothing wrong with spanking him on the leg just enough so he can feel it and it pops thats the whole point they hear your hand pop their skin and they dont like it. If you do it on the leg to it high close to the butt it has the same effect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Wow, apparently I am in the minority. I spank with the diaper on. I never pull down pants to spank. The point is to hurt their ego, not their physical body.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:26 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Purpleducky, you have it all wrong... you never want to hurt the "ego" of a child or break his spirit, just give them a physical sting. Emotional hurts are the ones that never heal... physical ones like from a spanking are long forgotten after the hugs & kisses and reminder talk of why they got the spanking in the first place. The purpose to is to break their will, not their spirit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • purpleducky, I used to only spank with a diaper on, but it was never terribly effective, now my 2 1/2 year old doesn't wear a diaper or pull ups so the point is kind of moot and spanking actually works now.

    I know it's cliche, but I think spanking hurts me more than it hurts her. I hate doing it but sometimes it's the only thing that works.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • OK so pretty much everyone here that gives their kids spankings to hurt them physical is a damn moron! here read this http://www.wikihow.com/Include-Spanking-in-Child-Discipline
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Well you gotta figure something out and something has to get your kids attention!! Spanking on the diaper, whats that do? Its gonna hurt a little. Its not abuse and its not hurting them, omg its helping them in the long run. They have to learn that its not ok to do some of the things they're doing. Happy sing song and talking only goes so far. Time out works for my 2 1/2 year old and if she screams and crys while she's standing there then she stands there longer. My kids are not allowed to act like animals. Sorry if that makes me a moron, guess that my problem. But i'll have the behaved kids. I got spanked and I turned out just fine. The kids need to know that you're in
    charge not them. How else do you get their attention? Raise my kid my own way. And Im not afraid to be NOT anonymous. I love my kids just as much as any other mother here on cafemom, my kids and I talk about why they got spanked.
    MommyTurtle1985

    Answer by MommyTurtle1985 at 9:22 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I am not for or against spankings as of yet cause my daughter is 2 and hasn't needed them. But I just wanted to tell you that a GREAT book to read is The Five Love Languages of Children. It teaches that each child has a love cup and that when their love cup is running low they will act out on purpose just to get some kind of attention from you even if it means negative attention. It too tells you that the child will learn more from your discipline when their love cup is full. It teaches you how to make sure their cups are full and how to discipline as well. I love this book!
    momoflilangel

    Answer by momoflilangel at 9:27 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

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