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problems with hubby

Since our baby was born I have found it hard to split my attention between my child and my husband. Recently I found out that he cheated on me. Has anyone else had a problem similar? This is our first baby and he said that he thought there was someone else... I told him he was right... it was our child... Also with breastfeeding romantically things were not the same..but we were (i thought) trying to work things out.. Has anyone had a problem with there hubbys straying or feeling a little neglected at all? How did you get through it?? Did you get through it?? Please let me know I think it would help alot. Thanks so much!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Don't take this on as your fault. He needs to grow up a bit and realize the child is as much his responsibility as it is yours. He needs to know that when you have a child, you do have to split your attentions. He is 100% to blame for his infidelity.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 8:52 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • He does not understand how much this baby needs you. Yeah it's hard at the beginning but he just has to learn to hang in there. That does not mean to go out and cheat on you. He needs to support. Maybe he's not into babies or kids in general. But confront him and sees what he feels about kids. You are tight together as one, so he needs to understand to be there for you, in ur good times n ur rough times. He will get his romance back in his life. It just takes a little while. But good luck.

    (".)
    BuzyMamma

    Answer by BuzyMamma at 9:14 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I agree with Eirelass on this. Him cheating is not your fault. IMO, you need to rethink your marriage. Maybe not have any more kids with him.JMO
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:15 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Tell him to grow up & act like a man. He's a father now. There is more to life then what's between his legs!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • He didn't think there was another man. He knew you were caught up in having a baby as most women are. Any excuse is good enough for men. He is trying to blame YOU for HIS bad behavior. It was his choice to cheat. He needs to make it up to you. How do you get over him cheating? Just remember that for every minute you spend thinking about him with her, you are letting HER control your life and you are cheating your baby out of your positive energy. Is the OW worth that to you? If not, then let it go. It won't be easy but you can do it
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:12 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • He is trying to place the blame on you for his own shortcomings don't let him do that. Things are tough after a new baby most real men deal with it and in time know things will get better. Your husband was probably cheating before you had the baby and when he got caught used this as his excuse. Blame the victim is what all cheaters do. They cheat and then take no responsibility. I would kick his sorry ass out until he can be honest about what he did. Until then you cannot trust him and he will cheat again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • First off, REAL men who feel neglected don't cheat on their spouse. My hub and I have two small children and one on the way. It's about communication. My hub has said recently that he feels like I'm overwhelmed with the kids and like he isn't getting enough attention. I don't bash him for feeling like this, and I have made an effort to listen more and talk less. He understands the reason why I wasn't paying attention to him but the fact that he said it out loud made everything better for us. Your husband blaming you for cheating on you? I'd bet he'll do it again. Not only will he do it again because of his excuse but he'll do it again because of your reaction. You've let him get away with blaming you and therefore he will. I'm not trying to be mean but he needs to own up to his own behavior.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 12:47 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

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