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Almost 4 year old having accidents when we're not around......

My so and I have his 3 1/2 (almost 4) daughter every other weekend and it just so happens that the last two times we have had plans for a couple hours on one of the days. We have left her with someone who she's very familiar with, but each time she has had accidents in her panties. She's been potty trained for nearly a year now and I don't know why she's doing it. Her mother (who doesn't have her all that often) said several months back that she had been having accidents quite frequently, but she hasn't ever with us. I was just wondering if anybody had any advice for us.

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JenHump

Asked by JenHump at 9:42 AM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • If your husband only sees his daughter every other weekend I would try not to leave her with anyone when it is his time to have her. I hope you know and trust the person you leave her with. It sounds to me like she is having a stressful reaction to the situation and caution should be excercised in that case.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • If her mother doesn't have her that often, and dad only gets every other weekend, who's taking care of this poor little girl?! It sounds to me like it's either a separation anxiety issue, or something happened at that person's house that you don't know about, and it's causing her stress to be over there (maybe other kids getting more attention, or teasing her?). Just make sure that she is not punished for these accidents. Explain that it's not ok for her to 'go' in her panties, but be very calm and matter-of-fact about it and try to get to the root of the problem, since you know that she has control over her bladder/bowels.
    bltcahill

    Answer by bltcahill at 2:17 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • The problem is she is being passed around so much (it may now seem like that big of a deal for you but it is for someone her age) and the accidents are her way of "reaching out" and is obviously causing her stress maybe you need to reschedule your plans in the future when you have his daughter if he's seeing her only on the weekends or just not get her until you can spend the full amount of time with her instead of leaving her with someone who you may trust but maybe she doesnt.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 12:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Lets clear some things up--
    1) We have the girls twice a week & every other weekend. Unless the ex will let us have them, instead of someone else on her weekends. We cannot control what she does with them, only the times we have them. We've asked for her to let us have them full time, but she wants the money. Financially, we can't fight her for custody.

    2) In the year that we have been living together, we have only left them w/someone else TWICE..... count 1-2--some of you guys are making out like he doesn't ever see them when we do have them.
    3) The girls stayed with my brother, sister in law & my two neices, whom they see & play w/ every other weekend.

    I was wondering if it could have something to do w/ the fact that my youngest neice is potty training herself & she sees that she doesn't get "into trouble" & maybe she thinks she can get away with it also? or for the attention since she isn't the youngest anymore?
    JenHump

    Answer by JenHump at 1:23 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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