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Do you think it's right to leave a baby upstairs alone?

I have a friend who had a baby 6 weeks early. She said the doc told her to keep him away from people and that if he's not eating to let him sleep cause he need all is strength to drink another bottle. But he's been out for four weeks now and she still keeps him in the room, he only is down to drink a bottle, then back up to bed he goes. And she leaves him up their till the next feed time whitch is 2 or 3 hours away. Doesn't a baby need stemulation to grow and be happy? Is feeding him and changing his pamper really enough? I don't know if I'm worng for feeling like she doesn't care for her kid like she should...she also partied while prego cause she didn't want to give that up. She told everyone she drank with that she lost the baby, then told them when she had him that she didn't know she still was prego till her water broke. Her reason is that she didn't like the looks she got cause of drink and smoking while prego.


Asked by GotToHaveFaith at 12:47 PM on Sep. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (21)
  • There are studies out there that show that what she is doing is dangerous. One Romanian leader conducted an ill-fated study on child development. Two sets of orphan babies were given two models of care. The first group was only given basic care. They were fed and changed and returned to a crib. The second set was given more normalized care including rocking, cuddling, talking, etc. All the babies in the first group died!! Below is an excerpt from They are talking about this study. You can check out the full chapter for more info.

    The mind and therefore the emotional content of the brain are created in the first few years of life through the attachment bond between the infant and the primary caretaker. (Fathers can be perfectly effective primary caretakers too, of course, although few histo

    Answer by bringingup3 at 3:14 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • She's a sorry excuse for a mother!

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 12:49 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • call child protective services immediately

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Prego? Really now can we please grow up and be pregnant?

    He's a preemie and needs more precautions than full term babies to a certain extent. Even full term newborns eat, sleep and poop and that's about it. Does she leave the baby up there crying or does he literally sleep all that time?

    If you honestly feel there is neglect going on, you shouldn't be wasting your time here on a message board. You should have been calling CPS a long time ago.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with having a baby upstairs while everyone is down stairs. My kids always slept in their rooms, but it sounds different for this mother, it sounds like she's just flat out neglecting him

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:54 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Prego is easier to type the pregnant...but thanks for your rudeness! He is term now and she does leave him up there at night crying when she's out a the portch drinking with her boyfriend. I don't know if I would call it neglect. He's fed and changed...but there isn't any bonding cause she doesn't seem to care to.

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 12:57 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Everyone parents diffrently babe. As long as she isn't abusing the baby I wouldn't really worry about it. Thats not how I handled my newborns but hey, to each his own. To me, I liked having them right next to me all the time so I wouldn't miss those moments of alertness but like I said, everyone is diffrent.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 12:57 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • The people who answer anonymous are almost always the assholes, lol. Don't worry about that. I say "prego" too. I like it.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 12:59 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • that is neglect... and he does need that stimulation when he is awake. bc ANY new born likes to stay up for a lil while and play. shes an ignorant mother and something needs to be done. call CPS on her. U dont ever let a new baby sit there and cry just bc u want to do something.. in my eyes bc she decided to party while she was pregnant the kid should have been takin at birth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I live in a two story, and the bedrooms are all upstairs. When my LO was a baby i'd bring her downstairs to feed her, and if she went back to sleep, i'd put her back in her crib. If she stayed awake, she'd stay down stairs. If the baby is sleeping, I see no reason why she needs to keep him downstairs.

    Stimulation is beneficial for babies, but if they're sleeping, there is no reason to wake them up for it. Eventually he will stay up long enough to be entertained.

    Premies are not like full term newborns, and unless your friend is leaving him upstairs to cry, I don't see anything wrong with the way she's handling things.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 1:08 PM on Sep. 7, 2009