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how to stay with your husband?

ever since i had my second child (the first is not my husband's) i'v been havn problems with my sex life with my DH. numbr one im breastfeedn, numbr two im on depo, numbr three i hav two kids to deal with during the day. i've tried to xplain whats going on with me nd DH is tryn so hard to undrstand but the few times i am able to push myself to get thngs going doesn't satisfy him enuf bcuz he feels lik im not into it. i can feel my marriage spiraling down nd i don want to hav trouble btween me nd my husband. iv contemplatd weaning, but evn thn ill hav to wait 2 years to let the depo to get out of my system to evn see a differenc. i dont kno wat to do. plz plz plz help me. i cant tak the pain nemore!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Depo was a problem for me too. So getting off that is a good start. Even before that if its issues with how its feeling u may ask a medical opinion. They gave us tips that helped satisfy us more.
    firewife1

    Answer by firewife1 at 2:36 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Tell your husband firmly that making a human being inside of you with him and having that human grow and come out of you - not an inanimate body part but a human being grew in you for 9 months has made you very tired. Plus you are doing around the clock 24 hour 7 day a week care too for your other baby!!

    Tell him if he is not getting up with you through the night to soothe older child help older child, bring baby to you to nurse that he needs to and when he's home weekdays and weekends too. After you're done nursing baby husband can cuddle and burp, change baby.

    You have to calmly firmly say time to feed, change, bathe, wipe, clean baby older child, hon.

    Say thank you often. He needs to experience mid of night childcare and early morning. Give him babies on his day off. You work in childcare weekdays while he's at work. You can't do his job at his job. He can do childcare for babies he made.

    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 2:39 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • girl ween that baby!!!


    If you have to pump, then go to Spencer's and get one of those pills that enhance women's sex drive and pleasure. Initiate the sex! Go down, jump on top, something! Anything! Spend time with him doing things he likes...fishing, bowling, etc. Praise him. Compliment him. Make sure you take at least one night out of the week to make him feel special. Just the two of you. But no matter what you do remember that sex isn't the glue to a relationship (key, but not glue). Sometimes all it takes is a little extra attention.

    sugahmamma

    Answer by sugahmamma at 2:43 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • It's ok. If you don't want him then someone else will.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Why is your doc letting you breastfeed whie ON depro?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry too much about it. If sex is what was keeping you together i wouldn't be too upset if he left. Don't stop bf because it's interfering with your sex life that's a little ridiculous. They're only babies for a little while. They're only bf for a little while and if he can't understand the work that goes into it then leave him be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I had the same problem when i was nursing. It will go away when you are done. The hormones in the birthcontrol did it too. Hang in there! How old is your baby? Dont wean because he is having a problem with it maybe he could pitch in more to help you feel less overwhelmed. Maybe he dosent understand that if he wants sex he is goig to have to do more to get you there. He needs to start early inthe day by giving you compliments and helping you withthe kids and being in a good mood.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 4:20 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • First of all forget about the mock answers from the first and third Anon. Yes, your babies are only babies for a little while in their lives but they do grow up and leave home and you will have to have a relationship with your husband. Not to mention there is no reason to go through a divorce when you can get off the Depo and if you are feeling that overwhelmed, you might try to wean your baby. Or at the very least pump and that way he can help out. Breastfeeding is not for everyone no matter what anyone says. It's one more thing that is completely exhausting and you need to figure out where and what to cut before it's too late.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:50 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • While babies are only babies for a while if it is interfering with your sex life you really need to stop bf.You will have your dh much longer then your kids so if you want to save your marriage you need to do 2 things get off the bfing and get off the depo I had that problem with depo too. There is no harm in formula feeding your child and I think you might be less tired if you just gave them a bottle. I know it was so much easier for me all the way around to formula feed and I wasn't near as tired and dh can help feed that way too. He needs to help a bit more around the house and you need to get the mind set into jumping his bones. Whatever that may be cuz guys wonder if you think they might not they get fed up w/their current situation and wonder off to someone who will give them attention and love them for them. You have to decide what is more important to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

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