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People just dont understand....

When I date people, I let them know that I am a single mom of two wonderful kids and I don't get out much. They say they are ok with that and they understand that they come first in anything I do. After a while of dating, they start getting really frustrated because I can't do this or go do that when they want me to. Things end up with us breaking up. This has happened to me in the Last several relationships I have had. What do I do or say? I am so confused about people right now...


Asked by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Sounds like me.. I'm also a single mother of two kids. I finally found a guy, who is surprisingly a little younger than me (i'm 21, he's 20) and from the start when we started talking that I had two children and that if he was going to date me, it's going to be hard at times.. and asked him if he was ready for that. So we talked for about a month, I could only see him once a week and he was fine with that. Now that we're officially dating, he comes over, plays with the boys, we hang out.. he understands that i'm not always available. He knows my boys come first, even before myself.

    You need to find a guy who can understand that a single mother cant give as much as a person without kids can. He's out there.. just keep looking. And remember- those guys who got frustrated are selfish, and you dont want to be with a man like that anyway. Good luck. <3

    Answer by BEXi at 2:38 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • The confusion doesn't seem to be your's as much as it seems to their's. What part of what you tell them do they not understand? Keep on until you find one who understands what you say.


    Answer by admckenzie at 2:47 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • date guys that are dads
    i am not saying date fathers, anyone can father a child, but it takes a man to be a dad
    not that blending families is an easy task, but at least these men will ubderstand what it takes and how much time it takes to be a good parent

    be patient, all good things come to those who wait

    Answer by boredmom44 at 3:00 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Honey you arent doing anything wrong. Your being a great mom who knows her priorities. Problem is there are alot of men in this world who act like they understand but many will not. You will find a great one who understands.. and honestly probably has children of his own. They say the only compassionate man is one who is a father. lol Men dont really understand the dedication one can have for a child until they have one of their own.

    Answer by jroseh68 at 3:03 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • And even some men with children are still jerks... dont let it get to you. Keep your head up!

    Answer by jroseh68 at 3:03 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I think they don't always understand what they are getting into before they say they don't mind kids. Maybe they were genuine at the time but felt differently later. Feelings change. Also, don't decide to only date guys with kids or only without. Keep it open! I had kids and my husband didn't and I would have missed him if I set rules. There isn't much you yourself can do, someone will come along that is understanding if you just hang on and don't give up. If they can wait then they are worth it. Sometimes we have to go through a lot of lemons before we get into the cadillac if you know what I mean!

    Answer by Steff107 at 3:06 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • They are not the right people for you. I would be glad you didn't marry one of them and find this out later. Dating is not fun and takes time. You might not find anyone you click with for many years. Next person could be it. You need to realize you don't need a man and can live a full life without one. Concentrate on your kids and yourself when you quit focusing on finding someone and just live your life that is when you will find love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • You are doing the right thing by putting your children first. The time with them passes very, very quickly, and then you will have all kinds of time for a social life.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:56 PM on Sep. 7, 2009