Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I a bad parent?

I love my kids endlessly. A couple weeks ago, I not only lost my job, I got into it with my ex husband because he was laughing at me cuz I lost it and told him that I need his help with his children until i find another job, then to end the same week, My bf and I broke up. I cannot find a job anywhere and I the exhusband will not pay childsupport. There is no room at my mothers house for me to stay and I will not take my children to my fathers house who lives 2 hours away because of things he did to me as a child. I cant seem to get on my feet. Would I be a total bad parent to leave my kids with my mother and I go stay with my father and get a job and get on my feet to where I can support my kids and I? I feel I have no other choice.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Sep. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • NOT AT ALL. It seems that life has you backed into a corner. You have to do what you have to do for your family.Too bad you have a demon for an ex, who cant even support his own kids. Just keep your head up, things will get better.

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 4:03 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • There are women's shelter's and they will help you get assistance, and back on your feet, you don't have to be seperated from your kids.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 3:27 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • No. In my opinion that would make you a great mother. You have to do whatever you can to get by in today's economy. As long as you make phone calls to your kids and maybe (if you can afford it once you get a job) send little surprises or cards to remind them you are doing this for them I think it's a really good idea.

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 3:27 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • You would definately NOT be a bad mother for that. I agree with the idea of a women's shelter, because going to live with your dad might be really hard for you. But kudos to you for being abe to do it for your kids! Good luck, I hope everything turns out well for you!

    Answer by s.a.d.k.mommy at 3:35 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I would try to get assistance before leaving them with my mother but it's all about what your comfortable with babe. Don't ask anyone else if this makes you a bad mother. Do what you feel like is best and leave it at that.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 3:35 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I don't understand why he won't pay child support...he should.

    Have you filed for unemployment? Food Stamps? Temporary assistance? WIC (depending on the age of your kids)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • I would suggest you check your local family services, here if you are not working you can get "TEMPORARY CASH ASSISTANCE" it will give cash to pay some of your bill like rent, you can get food stamps, get medicaid to cover the children's medical needs, you can apply for HUD and get on the housing list - there might some other assistance in your local area, you could even look for some other mom looking to share rent/childcare with you... pooling your resources... if you apply at your family services they might be able to get your child support started too, here they hold any state refunds from the father and send it straight to the child support and you... good luck think outside the box, use your family as a last resort as you don't sound to hip on the idea that...

    Answer by BlessingsBegin at 3:43 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Personally, I would lose it with out my kids. Even if I did see them everyday. I think if it where me I would first get on government help (medicaid, food stamps, etc) They can help with housing, transportation to work, even give you money monthly (TANF- temp. assistance for needy families). I would continue to look for a job even if it was at a 7-11 for $8/hr. In the mean time can you watch some kids? nanny at├é┬ásomeones house for like $10/hr per kid & make sure you can take your kids with you. Most of the time the parents don't mind (had to do a similar thing).Next, I would ask for help from anyone! Explain your situation to the church, or something. Also, you can get assistance on bills. I had to do it once before. Call your electric company, they will give you numbers (Church's & non profit org.) of people that can help.They put $100 on my electric bill for me once. PM me if need anything more! Keep your head up mama!


    Answer by beka03 at 3:46 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • No, that would not make you a bad mother. It sounds like a mom who really cares for her kids and that's a good thing.

    You mentioned that there was no room at your mom's house for all of you, but then you say your thinking of leaving the kids with your mom while you live at your dad's until your on your feet.

    If there is room for the kids, why isn't there room for you too? Couldn't you share a room with the kids? After all it's just tempory and you wouldn't have to be separated.

    We are a family of 7 in a 3 bedroom home. I share a room with my 3 daughters and It works out fine.

    Hope things get better for you soon.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • There should also be an agency that helps you get child support from your ex-husband...My hometown has a private agency that goes after non--paying parents...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Sep. 7, 2009