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How do you get respect?

How does one get respect from a step child, when thier mother doesn't respect you?
He is a 16 year old boy, who is basiclly out f control when it comes to me, withhis father, different story. He is a different person then my husband think I am picking on him??

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Asked by Kelli197803 at 8:19 PM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (13)
  • How do you expect a man with two broken legs to run a mile with you? In other words, there isn't much you can do if mom isn't backing it up. Sorry to say it.

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:22 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Well, the Mother is on board if it's her way. And now her children have turned into way or no way. And it's really sad and stressful to have in my house, with 2 smaller children!

    Answer by Kelli197803 at 8:27 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Videotape him being disrespectful to you and show it to your husband.
    Put your foot down. No respect = no visits.

    Answer by Gealach at 8:29 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • gealach: the CANNOT keep him from visiting because he is disrespectful to his stepmom. The father could get in trouble for not following a court order. THINK before you suggest.

    OP: Do you respect him? Do you badmouth his mother when he is around? Do you talk about him while he is there? In front of your other kids? Just because he is a 16 yr old kid, doesn't mean he doesn't deserve respect. Try reverse psychology and respect him, praise him when he does something good. He can't help what he was taught by his mother.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:52 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Well tyfry, Let me say this, yes I do respect him, NO I do not talk bad about his mother. I have tried the reverse on that, and he told his mother that I kiss his ass. The short run, is that he thinks he is Billy bad ass, when he is not. He is writting notes to friends at school, leaving them on the table talking about how he wants to knock the shit out of me. I am the one who picks him up from school, I take him to school. I take him to buy school clothes and supplies. His own mother is not even 2.5 miles down the road and cant be bothered by him. He asks me why doesnt she want anything to do with me? Why doesnt she come get me? Why wont she call me? My response...Well honey, she does work alot and she is proberly tired when she gets home from work. I treat him and I treated his brother just like I gave birth to them. So I don't deserve any of this crap from him. Geleach, taking away visits would work, if she came to get him

    Answer by Kelli197803 at 10:59 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Then stop.
    Make him ride the bus. No new clothes. No tv. No internet.
    These are privileges he is obviously not deserving of.

    Answer by Gealach at 11:42 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • give him unconditional love and keep giving it to him. he is being brainwashed by his mom and don't give into his pettiness. respect has to be earned it can't be demanded. when he gets older he will see what a fool he has been and what a good mom you are if you don't let his childish behaviour get to you.

    You may have a ridge bit into your tongue but learn to hold it and not give his mom any ammo to use against you


    Answer by mamak57 at 12:14 AM on Sep. 8, 2009


    Answer by older at 12:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Older....funny, respect is not kissing a 16 year old kids ass, and thats what he expects from me. I am not his friend, I am his parent. I am a parent to my own children. I am NOT their friend. Respect, that term has been used very loosely when it has come to teenagers in this time and date. Let me guess, if they got respected, then they would be gang bangers or drug sellers or drug addicts right? Or how about the teenagers who go to school with guns and blow other peoples children away. Guess thye didnt get respect either huh? All I was hoping for was guidence in what can be a helpful tool with this child. Not for people who have no idea what this child is really like. How about the fact he tried to beat his own mother up, or tried to stab his brother, or how about he drug my 2 children around by thier feet and trying to throw them in a room. Or how about ebery chance he gets he tries to buck up to me like he is going to hit

    Answer by Kelli197803 at 12:35 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • CONT: me. No nobody knows about that. So please dont try to tell me to respect this boy, when he has no respect for anyone except himself. Not his teachers, or the kids on the bus, or even the kids in my neighborhood. When you call a 5 year old little girl a "Bratty Bitch", umm you obviously have issues. When you walk in on him beating the hell out of a dog, oh wait it must be because the dog didnt respect him. Or any of the other animals he tortured. Didnt find any of this out til he moved in......So yeah as for anymore negative advice, sure the hell dont need it. But thanks....

    Answer by Kelli197803 at 12:40 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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