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questin about your husbands

ok so last night me and my husband had a 3-sum with another girl. Well now he feels weird b.c. of what happened and we're married,even though im totally ok with everything. So you ladies that have had 3-sums with your husbands,did your husband feel weird after also & if so what made him not feel weird? please no bashing about this,its our lives & we'll live it like we want to.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Sep. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • What exactly does he feel weird about? What does "weird" mean? Weird toward you or uncomfortable with having another threesome?

    I have no experience with this, but I'd be happy to lend an objective point of view (without bashing) :)
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:37 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • If it's "your lives" then why does he feel weird? That I don't understand!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Does he feel wrong? Well,he should. It is wrong, I don't care what anyone says. It's destroying the sanctity of marriage.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • ok i realized i did not add enough information.....he feels weird b.c he saw another girl naked and we're married and because another girl saw him naked,he also feels weird b.c he went down another another girl....it was the first time we have done anything like this. we kind of just did it to see how fun it was cause we've always talked about it but never had the right girl to do it with.....i told him im totally ok with him seeing another girl naked as long as im there and with her seeing him naked since i was there. im also totally ok with the fact that he went down on her but he said he doesnt know why but he feels weird...so how do i make him not feel weird?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • It's natural to feel weird, because hit gut feeling is telling him it's wrong. If he feels weird, then he doesn't have to feel obligated to do it anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • Talk to him. Maybe this type of thing just isn't for him. It's not for everyone. Awknowledge that you tried it and that it didn't work for him this time. You can't make him feel any certain way about this, he has to come to grips with his emotions on the matter by himself. Give him some space, and ask him specifically what feels weird. Let him know you are okay with it and then give it time. He may want to do it again some day, but this was a new experience for him and he feels uncomfortable with it for now. Let him feel that way and tell him that you still love him and want to be with him, and that if he ever wants to do it again that he should talk to you about it. And then let it go and don't talk about it unless he brings it up or you have a pressing question about it.

    I hope that helped!
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:48 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • thanks ati13....we have talked about it and everything he knows im ok with it but idk he still feels weird. he has done things like this prior to us being together but he said now that hes married he feels weird doing it.....when the dicussion first came up on having a 3-sum he was alll for straight from the start & couldnt wait untill we got the right girl. even last night b4 & during he loved it. it wasnt untill after that he started feeling akward. he's told me what he feels weird about and everything but im not sure why he still feels that way even though im totally ok with it and i dont see anything wrong with what we've done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • You really wont know why he feels "weird" until you talk to him, maybe he thinks its a betrayal to you and your marriage, maybe he enjoyed it tooo much, maybe he was uncomfortable with his wife watching. I have no clue, but you cant make him feel not weird about it, he has to come to terms on his own. Never had a threesome myself nor do I want to, but what I would do does not matter in your case. Be careful, this could bring serious problems into your marriage, a very good friend of mine had a threesome and now they are no longer married. Give him some time and then try and talk if you still feel he is "weird" about it. GL
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 10:00 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • This is why I tell ppl to have 4somes not 3somes. It's unbalanced and gets awkward. He'll be fine. Just don't do it again
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:00 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

  • So he's done this before, but not with you and only now does he feel weird about it. Okay, got it. Maybe he feels wierd about it all now because:
    1. You haven't done this before. The first time you do anything sexually is weird.
    2. He's more mature. Before sex was about physical gratification for him and now he attaches more emotional meaning to it. He didn't have any emotions for this woman, just lust, you know?
    3. He loves you. He worries that even though you say you're 100% okay with this that you will judge him or think he loves you less. He worries it will affect your marriage in a negative way.
    4. He might feel differently about his body. We all change as we get older and he might not feel as attractive as he did before. Plus, sex is intimate and someone else watched you guys have it and even participated a little.
    He will either get over this and want to do it again or he won't. You'll have to be ok either wa
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:41 PM on Sep. 7, 2009

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