Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Could it work, and how?

My divorce will be final next month, but my ex husband, my stepdaughter and I spent the day together saturday and it was wonderful. We had such a good time it was like nothing had changed. I do love my ex, but the two main problems are this, for one, he won't work! I can't understand it but he has never held down a job. The other is his mother. She had a mild stroke last year and he brought her to live with us, and she is so difficult to live with, she was mean to me and he just dropped everything to care for her. He was in school but he dropped out (with one semeseter to go) to care for her. If he would just go back and finish he would have a slammin' job and we could have a good life together, because I have a very good job too. I know this si going to sound terrible, but I feel like he needs to make some changes now, either get a job and hire someone to help care for his mother, and prove to me that I do have a place..con..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 AM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • in his life! I feel like if his mother was to pass away then I would never know if he ever loved me enough to try to make it work with her in the picture. I'm so confused, I really don't know what to do.!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • one great day is nice, but remember why you filed for divorce in the first place, no one can answer this for you. trust your gut instinct, try to listen to your head, your heart will try to butt in, but i would listen to your head

    Answer by boredmom44 at 8:49 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • u need to tell him u want to have a serious conversation. You 1 need to talk about it and tell him how u feel and what u see that needs to change and ask him what he thinks needs to change. and u work on them together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • So you new he was lazy when you met him and married him? So it was his Mom coming to live with you that pushed you over the edge? That's how it sounds to me. Move on, go find a man who has a job.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:52 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I say call it a day with him. You are his wife which makes you his family. It's sad that his mother needs that much care but if there is that much conflict between the two of you he should have intervened. Informed his mother that you are the boss, this is of course your house so she needs to be pleasant to you. Then there is the job issue. It's his job to support you and your family in one way or another. He needs to get up off his butt and provide for him family. You probably had a ton of fun because none of the pressure was there. You're not married so you weren't worried about his job status, going home to his mother, or any other stress you had when it was the two of you. I would look for someone else this one sounds like a dud no matter how much fun you had with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • ive heard of ppl getting a divorce and the man actually changing when they sat down and talked about their problems. dont just throw it away and give up that easy if u feel u want to work it out then do so.. if u think u should walk away then do that! DONT LISTEN TO US we can not make ur mind up for u.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Life is made of choices and he made his.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:51 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My husband and I separated for about two years. We have been back together for three.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.