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What do you say when you're not supposed to know there was a baby to lose?

Sorry, I've gone through the list twice, there is really no good category for this question. I don't consider it "fun" but it doesn't fit anywhere.

A friend of mine had not officially announced her pregnancy yet, but some of us knew because her boss is a gossip hound. We found out this morning, thanks to the same idiot, that she lost the baby over the weekend. Do you say something if you weren't supposed to know in the first place?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • No. I understand that you want to support her, but do it subtly. If it looks like she's having a hard time offer to help with her work load(if you can), or suggest she take a few minutes to herself. Be gentle with her, and let her tell you if that's what she wants

    It's a very personal matter, and for some women finding out that 'everyone' knows would be too much. Going back to work is an attempt at 'normalicy', and you don't want that constant reminder from co-workers coming up to say their sorry all day. Even though they're just trying to show they care.

    Answer by desert_diva at 9:48 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Why would you want to say anything? She didn't mention it, I woudn't either. Your decision.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • NO do not say anything. She didn't tell people for that reason! Thats why people wait to tell to make sure they don't lose the baby. That would be wrong and hurt her. As for the boss, she/he should be reported the her/his boss for that. That is WRONG.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I think it depends. Is she a good friend or just a work friend or aquaintance? If she is a good friend I'd just tell her how sorry you are and that if she wants to talk you are there for her. It might be good for her to know that she has someone at work that knows what she's going through or why she's upset. But if she's not a close friend I might not say anything. But if everyone knows and she doesn't know that they know, they may treat her differently so she might want to know that the boss is a blabber mouth. It's definitely a tough call.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 9:51 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • no it doesnt depend. she didnt want u to know so act like u dont.. ppl dont tell others just in case they lose it they dont want ppl feeling sorry for them!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Shut up shutin up!

    Answer by salexander at 9:59 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I can tell you are a caring and compassionate person, but in this case, there isn't much you can do except to treat her kindly and gently without mentioning anything about her loss. If she needs to talk about it she'll get a sense of who in kind-hearted enough to talk to, but don't be surprised if she wishes not to discuss it with anyone at work. If you pray to God or any other source of higher being, then that is what she needs right now for comfort and healing. ♥

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 10:00 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Give her a hug and say you are there for her if she needs you. i am sure she knows the boss is a gossip and that every knows she was preggy. don't make a big deal just quietly pull her aside and tell her you are sorry to hear about the baby

    Answer by mamak57 at 10:46 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • No. Don't say or do anything. If she wanted you to know, she would have told you. every gester could remind her of what she lost and what a jerk your boss is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I recently lost a baby. Not many ppl knew about it. I was actually relieved that not many did. I wouldnt say anything unless she happens to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Sep. 8, 2009