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How can I get my boyfriend to marry me?

We have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I did get off BC without telling him for our daughter but not our son, I think it helped our relationship to have a child. He keeps saying he is not ready but he has a good job and savings. I want him to settle down but don't know how to make him, besides the kids. Any advice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • U can't make him. He might love his kids but u keeping on having them is not going to get him to marry you. If he has a goog job and savings do you ever think he just doesn't want to marry you or get married period. Maybe you guys should have discussed this before you started having kids or tricked him into having kids. I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN BEFORE PEOPLE START WHINING. I'm just trying to get you to really think. You can not MAKE someone do something they don't want to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Have you asked when he thinks he might be ready? Or if he ever will be ready? He may be one of those people who doesn't ever want to get married, and then you'll have to decide if that's good enough for you to just live together or if you need to leave him and find someone else.

    Answer by missanc at 2:20 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • you got off birth control without telling him because you thought it would be good for your realtionship to have a child...did I read this correctly!

    YIKES, maybe you could drug him, or get him drunk and take him to Las Vegas. You could both sign up to do a play with a scene that is a wedding, but you could ask a real judge to play the judge and that way you would be really married. or trick him into thinking he is on a reality show and you both would win a million dollars if you got married, or you could become a descent and honest woman that does not trick him into things and he may want to on his own =no wait that is not realistic, you could never pull that one off

    maybe he is very wise not to marry you

    after hearing what you said, I am very thankful I am not marrying you

    Answer by boredmom44 at 2:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Well even though I did trick him at first, he forgave me when I told him. He says he does want to marry me eventually, when he finishes school and after I have a degree, but I really just want to be a SAHM so I might not go to school, which would save time and money. We are together, and love each other very much, I am just tired of waiting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Does your boyfriend know you trapped him by going off bc to have your daughter?
    That is not something you can go into a marriage with, that is a huge lie!
    You can not make someone marry you, but if it can be done, you sound like the kind of woman that will try and try and try. No matter what you have to do.

    You should seek some professional mental health, you are not right in your head.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • you should go to school reguardless
    I am a sahm and I went to college

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I wouldn't try to "make him" settle down, since that may make him grow to resent you, the marriage and the kids. Like with most life-changing decisions, he will have to do it because he wants it as much as you do.

    If you want to try a romantic route, propose to him. While my relationship with my ex-bf didn't work out, I asked him to marry me (ring and all!) and despite his previously hard and fast bachelorhood, I got an instantaneous yes.

    Or, I would sit down and make a list of all the reasons you want to be married: the emotional, the practical, the financial, the medical (yes, being married can improve your health in some ways). Point out to him in what ways being married will benefit you both and state your case calmly. This is not info to give in the heat of the moment, and especially not if you're arguing. People tend to stop listening during arguments or disagreeing for the point of disagreeing.

    Answer by geminilove at 2:38 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • why would he marry you when you already gave him everything? he'll find some nice girl and settle down when he falls in love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I think he is the smart one for wanting to finish school and wanting you to finish as well. Or, maybe he doesn't want to marry someone who has no aspirations to further educate herself. Maybe he feels like you will drift apart if he is educated and you are not. Maybe he doesn't want to marry someone who is as manipulative as you are. You violated his trust by your devious little scheme of getting pregnant without his knowledge. That is low, really low. And you want to manipulate him further and "get" him to marry you? For real? i would be afraid you would "get" me in my sleep if I were him. You are desperate and psycho.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • He is not ready to marry you.If he really was in love with you,he would go to the courthouse and get married.Why did you not get married first and then have kids?Why should he marry you?He already has an instant family with no commitments,You tricked him into getting pregnant.He is smart for going to school.He probably wants a woman who is not dependent and has a degree.He is telling you he wants you to get a degree but you want to stay home.You really are not helping him financially.There are so many red flags against you.You cannot make someone marry you if they do not want too.Remember that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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