Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Early terrible twos?

So lately my son (almost 17 months) has been throwing fits when ever he doesn't get his way. We don't feed into the tantrum, we just try to let it pass. My husband thinks it is something that we are doing wrong, but I feel that we he is just being a toddler. What do you think? He may be a little spoiled being the only child, but he definately doesn't get whatever he wants. Does anyone have any opinions or advice with how to handle his fits? Could this be early terrible two's? Is anyone in the same boat with their toddler?

Answer Question

Asked by jen282 at 2:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 10 (453 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Personally, i think you're doing the exact right thing! Just ignore his tantrums and dont give in to whatever he wants. They do it for attention because they dont really know how to communicate what they want yet. (At least that's my theory!) When my little boy throws tantrums (at any age, so far) I try talking calmly to him so he'll calm down and we can figure out what he wants. If he wont calm down, i put him in a different room or leave the room and let him throw his tantrum. When he's done, he's usually ready to calm down and be nice about whatever it is he wants! I also dont think there is such a thing as terrible son was way easier to handle when he was two! Now that he's almost 3, i'm starting to see the terrible part! lol! Now he KNOWS what he wants and can communicate, just doesn't know how to deal with it when he can't HAVE what he wants! lol!

    Answer by MommaTurbo at 2:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I think all men look for an easy fix. I have the same problem with my husband> our son is 22 months old and throws tantrums and we don't give in to them either but I also try to work through them also = he feels that if he tells max some thing one time, he should "get it" Men sometimes don't have realistic views when it comes to children. IMO

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My 15 month old does similar things, and her doctor told me she is already exhibiting signs of independance (which is "mistakenly" known as the terrible twos). So I think you are absolutely right, and your hubby really is trying to find an easy way out! One thing we do with our LOVELY child when she acts this way is we talk her through it, put her in time out, and when she is done we give her lots of cuddles and explain the best we can what it is that she did wrong. She will do the whole screaming match thing, which sucks, by the way, but I guess its life. :-)
    Good luck!

    Answer by Tiera12 at 2:30 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Thanks. I think he gets frusterated that he can't express things that well. But he definately doesn't like to hear the word no. I will let him throw the fit and then try to talk to him about it. But he is still only 16 months. Last night my husband got frusterated when our son grabed a hold of the blinds and bent them. He told him "no" and got him off the couch and Noah started screaming/crying. He said "why is he so bad what are we doing wrong?" I said "he just wanted to look outside and didn't mean to break them." He says I spoil him too much. Idk!

    Answer by jen282 at 2:32 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • ha.. Sounds just like My husband. He doesnt' understand kids have to be told No OVER AND OVER AND OVER - and they are still going to TEST - like I said, Unrealistic. My son threw a major screaming fit in the bath and my husband said WHAT THE HELL... why is he doing that, OMG - what is wrong with him? Nothing, He REALLY didn't want to take a bath, or we didn't give him enough notice - tell him this way - he knows with his WHOLE body what he wants to do and has No idea how to express that - just like when he gets told NO and wants to do something - his WHOLE body knows he wants that but he just hasn't learned how to deal with it yet and won't for quite some time. I hand my husband books or highlight area's in books that relate to area's we are dealing with almost weekly -

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:36 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I do the same thing, just let him get it out, I dont comfort and console him, I just make sure he isnt going to hurt himself or anyone else and let him get it out.. Afterwards he is a much happier baby and will usually say sorry and give me a love. I've heard/read that a lot of tantrums are the result of pent up frustration they dont have the words to express; so letting them get that out of their system is really the best thing.

    Answer by AMsMommy212 at 4:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • It sounds like a lot of mama's are giving you good advice and support. "Terrible twos" is just them trying to be independent and exerting their will in a world that has been controlled for them. It is just a matter of setting boundaries and making compromises so they can have some independence without getting hurt or destroying the house. As other moms have said, don't give in to a tantrum. Just know that it is a phase and it will pass. . . you are doing everything right.


    Answer by chrissmom734 at 12:29 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.