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Do you think he's cheating??

I need some serious help from a woman's point of view. I'll admit, i've been sneaking into my husbands email checking up on him because recently I was out of town visiting my family. One day after I returned home, I found a receipt in our car that showed a condom was purchased. When I confronted him, he says he bought it for his cousin?!?! Ok, One day when I was getting some cash out of his wallet for our daughter's school lunch, I found a business card for a SWINGERS CLUB!!! in our area. I never confronted him about it, but i've been thinking about it since I saw it. Lastly, when checking his email today, I found some emails responding to ads on craigslist and in them he says "i just got out of a relationship..." blah blah blah and another one about a club. And I know the answers are clear and right in my face, but i'm having a hard time trying to figure out what to do next. How should I confront him. Please help me!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • confront him with all evidence and see were it goes, to would have freaked out already, but talk to him and go from there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I would talk to a divorce attorney first, then go to a counselor to help settle what my thoughts/feelings are, then confront him with your ideas. You'll have already done all your homework for yourself, in the event you need to kick him out when he admits it.

    Answer by EireLass at 2:23 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I think we as women don't want to face something like this. Your saying you want to confront him. It's like your waiting for him to say yes I did these things. He's not going to admit it to you probably. Don't wait until he admits it to do somethng. You have all the evidence in front of your face. And him saying that he bought it for his cousin is so highschool. I guess it's hard for women who are not in your situation to tell you what to do. I guess do what's best for you and your family. Good luck with everything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Um, yes I think he's cheating. I would confront him with the evidence, all of it, and see where it goes. If he comes clean and tells you, then you have to decide if your marriage is worth saving. Is he willing to go into counseling with you? Is he willing to stop cheating? Can you continue to live with him while you work on things, or do you need to separate at least for a while? I am so sorry, you have some tough decisions and I hope things work out.

    Answer by missanc at 2:23 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • You know he is cheating. I do too. Their is no doubt about that. I man does not love you if he cheats even if he says he does. If it was once and a mistake, you can forgive and move on together if that's what you both wanted but this is not the case.
    Prepare yourself for the separation and divorce. He does not deserve you and do not blame yourself, it is either is choice alone or you two are both to blame because relationships are hard but that is no excuse to cheat. I know you might not see you leaving him but after you have you know you've made the right choice. Especially if you have kids, and don't leave them out of it, talk to them about it because they are apart of the process. Don't get mad or sad in front of him, but be honest. Stay strong. It's all about how you think, and you will get through.
    good luck!

    - i hope i helped out at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Get out now, and don't look back, don't even waste your energy confronting him, he'll just lie, screw counseling, he's an a'hole.. get a lawyer and pack your bags.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • You know the deal. Ask him if he wants to fix the marriage. If not, get out before he drives you crazy with his lies and endless excuses for every cheating thing you catch him doing.

    Answer by bella69147 at 2:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Maybe he's just being a 3rd in a 3some for fun. Just ask him what's up

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:59 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • He is cheating probably with me the guy I am with has an insecure snoop for a wife and that is why he is cheating. He has a big dick so I said why

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • everone here is giving advice she should just leave, i disagree first how long are u married? do you have kids? hows is your married life besides for the stuff u found, I am not trying to bash anyone but a lot of times someone comes in here for some advice and everyone is just saying get out get out, you know something the person who is asking for advice knows she can just leave, but i think they want to hear what others think about it, I dont know what the story is with u but first i think u should have a opne talk with him tell him he needs to come clean be strict with him dont let him play you u can also play him and tell him you know more then u are telling him, hope things work out for you, im sure its really hard, lets hope u are wrong and he didnt do anything

    Answer by NewForMe at 3:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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