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If a kid spends almost equal time at mom's AND dad's house, is child support fair?

My girls spend almost as much time at their dads' houses as they do at mine, even though I have managing conservatorship according to the custody documents. Is it fair of me to ask for child support? Their dads buy them clothes and feed them dinner and whatnot, so it seems like they spend almost as much money on them as I do.

If you say it IS fair, can you explain how? So I can explain it to THEM?

 
BigMommaJesca

Asked by BigMommaJesca at 2:32 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • Jesca, I just have to say how nice it is to see someone who looks at this from a position other than, "What can I get out of them? How can I punish my ex?" It's really nice to see a mom who models true integrity for her children.

    As to your question, I think that the point of child support is to support the children. Both parents have an EQUAL responsibility to support them (food, clothing, housing, utilities, etc). If both are already EQUALLY (or as equally as possible) providing financial support to the kids, then I think that child support is another expression for greedy punishment.

    I think that if you and your exes are doing great without the freakin' courts deciding how to spend every penny or where the kids should sleep or who's paying for the left soccer cleat and who's paying for the girlscout badge for beading then you're doing an awesome service to your kids.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 3:56 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Are you asking because you would like to put him on support? If you admit he spends just as much money on them as you do then whats the issue? No its not fair. Why should he pay for the time he has them and the time you have them?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • do you have to pay for child care? does he or you take kids to doc? what about school clothes? Thats all i can think of at moment.
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 2:34 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • i think child support IS fair bc residential parent has more responsibilities w child such as doc appt, school functions, and child care
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 2:35 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • right and your rent/utilities and food bill is higher with kids than him by himself. you have to keep them clothed, doctored and such
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 2:37 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • food bill and utilities would be about the same if they are spending JUST AS MUCH TIME at their fathers house like SHE STATED
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Do you and Dad have roughly the same income? If you do, then no it's not fair. Child support is meant to even income differences between the two households. If there is a huge income difference where you're struggling to provide for the kids and he's living the high-life, then yes it's fair.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 2:46 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Something to consider...the ONLY reason these kids spend more time at dad's house is because they asked for more time, and even though the court documents state that they only get a small amount of time, I realize how important it is for little girls to have their daddies in their lives, so I go ahead and give them some of my rightful time. That's why it's even. Legally, they're with me MUCH more, but they spend time there because I let it be that way, because I feel the legal system really gives dads the shaft.

    And yeah, they'd probably help pay medical, etc if I asked to. It hasn't really occurred to me to do so.
    BigMommaJesca

    Answer by BigMommaJesca at 2:56 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Desertdiva...actually, I make more than they do (sorry...two different girls, two different dads, I'm feeling very "Jerry Springer" right now, and it sucks), and yet, they both seem to be able to afford to go out to eat all the time while I'm here cutting costs everywhere I find them.
    BigMommaJesca

    Answer by BigMommaJesca at 2:58 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I think child support is uncalled for if you share time and expenses, and especially if you make more, Jess.
    RanaAurora

    Answer by RanaAurora at 3:02 PM on Sep. 8, 2009