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Second baby showers?

Is it standard for women now to have more than one baby shower? I always heard, and both sides of our family (dh and mine) have always been under the impression that a woman gets one shower...unless of course she has one last "oops" pregnant a decade or more after her next youngest. But I've noticed all of my friends and some relatives have a shower for every baby they have, no matter how much space is between them. This is fine if someone wants to throw them...but would it be rude not to GO to subsequent showers? I go to the firsts and I generally bring a gift for the baby shower or not...but I feel like I'm going to a new shower every week and most of these people already have 1-3 kids! What is the proper etiquette for this, or is it a modern thing so none has been established? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (13)
  • My sister had a 2nd and 3rd... and she has 3 girls. But she never kept anything. I got her an outfit each time and thats it.
    Other than that I've never been invited to a 2nd shower. But I would only get something if it was the opposite sex of the first or many years after the first. I feel every new baby is a reason to celebrate, even if its just a party with no gifts!

    Answer by austinsmama1106 at 3:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I would go and bring at least a small gift. A shower is more of a celebration of the pregnant woman and the new baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • If you're going to be pregnant for 9 whole months, you deserve a freakin' party and each baby deserves something new and special for them- at least for the moms sake. Baby showers really are a community help service- take some of the stress off the mama.

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:07 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I agree . . . every baby should be celebrated.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 3:10 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I had my first 2 5 yrs apart and needed a shower then my 3rd and 4th were 11 yrs apart so I needed another shower.
    Having a sencond shower can sometimes be greedy but not all the time, like if you have a boy then the next yr you have a girl. But it should stop at that.
    What gets me is when people have 3 or 4 showers for just one baby!

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 3:12 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I have questioned this myself. Since DH and I are trying for a 2nd I keep wondering how much of the baby stuff should I hang onto. We are short on space but I don't want to have to buy all this stuff again, nor do I think its my family and friends responsiblity to either. So far i just hang on to the big ticket items. And if I am lucky enough to get a 2nd shower I would just consider it a bonus and not rely on it.

    Answer by FuzNet at 3:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • OP here! I do agree that in some cases a second or even third shower is warranted. Like I have a friend whose baby died, and she got pregnant again the year after with her first girl. I actually THREW her third baby shower. I was just curious because every time somebody gets pregnant and has yet another shower... the older members of my family or friend base make a little face and say "People used to only get one shower". Some of the women even say "We're just celebrating the new arrival, no need for gifts." But you HAVE to bring a gift. My only concern is tha tI have a lot of friends and family, and they all keep getting pregnant at once! It gets expensive!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I personally am pretty sure I won't get a second shower. I can agree with the celebrating of each new baby, but since my other showers were so huge and I know I am loved and all that... I think it would more appropriate to have a get together or some sort after the baby arrives. That way, it obviously is not a shower so anyone who does not want or can't bring a gift doesn't feel obligated. I also hang on to everything I can, keeping it in my attic and my parent's attic. It's all still like new, so why get all new stuff?

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 3:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I agree with a previous post that every baby deserves to be celebrated! I think it's also totally appropriate to give smaller gifts for a second or later shower because they already have a lot of the big stuff (usually). For second and later babies, I usually bring a cute outfit and/or a gift basket of the kind of useful baby products you can never have too many of (like wipes, creams, lotions, soaps, etc).

    You never have to go to a baby shower. I do think it would be extremely rude and tacky to decline by telling mom that you don't believe in second baby showers. If you do decline, just do so without inflicting your opinion.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:21 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I had a baby shower for each of my kids but they are 5 years apart and my first was a girl and the second a boy so we needed a lot of stuff. A friend of mine is pregnant with her second boy. The kids will only be about 18 months apart so she didn't want a shower so she had a diaper party. People just took diapers, wipes, lotion, soaps, little things like that and we had a great time. She got tons of diapers and wipes and stuff like that. So a diaper party would be my suggestion.

    Answer by jazzysmommy1004 at 3:37 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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