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This is so frustrating....help!?

My son keeps coming home from the babysitters injured, and half the time I call her and she doesnt even know what happened. I realize he is a toddler, but he comes home with bruises she doesnt know how he got, and usually when she does know how he got hurt she was "just in the other room cleaning/going to the restroom/making food etc..." And it's getting old!!! This weekend he had a perfect BITE MARK on his arm, and she had no idea he was bitten!! (her son is a biter and he wasnt around anyone else so it had to have happened there)
I really like her as a person, but Im starting to feel like I'd be better served putting him at a center; but it's over twice the cost; and there are so many cons to that too!!! I'd much rather resolve the issue but I need some suggestions on how to approach it... I can't expect her, a SAHM, to not do her household things while my child is there so what kinds of solutions can I suggest?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • I would just sit her down and just lay it all out. That is basically her warning that you will find someone else.
    While she has house work to do, she is not putting the kids safety first. She needs to be better at multi tasking. and if it continues then I would find a day care even though I know the frustration of that too.
    karglynn

    Answer by karglynn at 3:58 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • You know I would just save face and place your child in a center. It seems like she is not paying to much attention to your child or hers so before something REALLY bad happens just pull him out and place him else where. GL
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:58 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I would have a talk with her about your concerns and tell her that if your son is too much for her to handle that she doesn't have to watch him. Tell her however, you know he enjoys being with her so maybe she can wait to do chores until night time when she doesn't have to worry about the children. Good luck
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 4:02 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Oh and I am a stay at home mom and it's not a big deal to do chores at night bc i do.
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 4:02 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I send my son to part time daycare at a center - he was bit there by another child but I like the precautions they take on that too. The other times he is with my mom and I have picked him up from her house with new bruises daily, he falls a lot and I am witness to that also - but I think its more the fact that you aren't around just to "make sure" also ! i mean, it bothered me that every time I picked my son up from my mom he had a bloody knee from falling or another bonk on his head but probably would be fine if he did those things in front of ME... no one can care for my child like I can... even my mother apparently..haha.. I would be honest, let her know you'd appreciate her keeping a better eye, especially knowing her son is a biter but seriously, most of these things tend to be toddler falls/bruises.. but Hey, this is your child.. she SHOULD be watching him also
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:29 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I am a stay at home mom with my 2 year old daughter. I manage to get all of my housework done and cook dinner every night. My daughter "helps" me I hand her a dust rag and pretend spray it with the polish and she polishes the doors etc to help keep her busy but if she is not feeling it that day then I have to do some of it at night. If my daughter gets a bruise I pretty much know how she got it. She is very active and she still doesn't have that many bruises etc on her. Since this lady has committed to caring for your child he is her responsibility above and beyond her household duties. Your son is her job during the day if she can not effectively watch your child then she needs to do housework at night. I would talk to her and I wouldn't mix words this is your child you are the one that is ultimately responsible for him. If conditions don't improve I would remove him immediately. Best of luck to you!
    jpal0507

    Answer by jpal0507 at 4:32 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • OP HERE: Thanks guys, it's hard to sit her down and havea discussion because her house is very busy and loud; I pick him up when she is cooking dinner and drop him off when they are headed out the door to drop the oldest at school.. do you think it would be ok to shoot her an email instead, or should this be a face-to-face conversation?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • ur child is getting hurt n u still think of of an e-mail???if i were u,i would hve already talked to her about it on sunday.
    saira2306

    Answer by saira2306 at 6:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I agree with saira2306 a little I would have pulled her aside no matter how busy she was as soon as I had concern but that is me. I don't see why not go ahead and send an email but choose your words very carefully so that your point really gets relayed. I would also follow up with a face to face conversation. I wouldn't care how busy she was she would have to stop and talk to me if I was concerned about my child. Remember you are paying her to do a job.
    jpal0507

    Answer by jpal0507 at 7:13 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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