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What did it take for your husband to stop looking at porn?

If you are for porn please move on and have respect for those of us who are against it. I need encouragement please.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I came home one day & caught him watching it. Needless to say I came home ALOT for lunch & I was REALLY upset. I had told him how i felt before this & he basically told me I was to accept it or move on. Well needless to say that after I caught him I told him he had to accept it or move on, He gave all his crap away, this I know because I was there when he done it. Best bet is to sit him down & tell him how you feel. I told mine like I said but I guess he didn't get it until he saw how much it really hurt me. It's not going to happen over night but you can try & talk about it. You might be surprised that he is willing to give it up because it hurts you. If not I don't know what to tell you sweety but I have felt you pain.
    HelenStoner

    Answer by HelenStoner at 5:09 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I'm not really "for" or "against" it, I'm just wanting a bit more information, what is the reason you don't like it? Why are you trying so hard for him to stop watching it? Is it because it makes you feel insecure? I think it will help a lot with the answers you get if you give more information regarding the situation...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Talk to him why he feels he needs to look at that stuff. There is a book called Every man's battle, dealing with this issue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I'm against it too. . .for us it took consueling (it wasn't just porn we were dealing with. the porn lead to emotional affairs on his part). we talk now . ..we got conseling at our church
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 5:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My husband struggled with it for a long time. I would leave town and come home and find all these porn sites on my computer. I tried to talk to him, we had loud arguments (well on my side anyways( it had NOTHING to do with my insecurities because I KNOW he loves me and finds me attractive, but for my own beliefs and personal reasons) it was back and forth back and forth with him. he would tell me he would stop and i would find it everytime he was alone in the house. so finally i put a child lock on the internet. I allowed certain sites and am the primary on the computer. he was not happy about it in the least bit and he voiced his opinion. He would say how christian he was and i would point out how unchristianly his behavior was... after awhile he realize i was NOT backing down. it took a while and a lot of talks, but eventually he realize i was not doing out of insecurity or to be mean, but for bigger reasons.
    ArmyWifeMomof3

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 5:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My husband is from Holland where prostitution is legal, so he grew up seeing sex all the time and treating it like a business. I remember visiting him in Holland and him taking me to the red light district and stopping to talk to one of the "ladies" because she was a an old friend from school. He introducted me and everything and chatted it up with her about the whether, her family and the like. My husband has viewed a porn movie like any other man but to him they were rather drab and boring. Since moving here he hasn't viewed another to my knowledge. Porn for my hubby is photography sites where the talk about lenses and shutters. Porn for him is football, travel sites.

    I think being from Holland and seeing sex being treated like a business did the trick for him. It's like the saying goes, "once you've seen one tit - you've seen 'em all". GL, I know this must be hard on your marriage. Pray for guidence.
    Ladybugkisses76

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 5:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I know what has to be done but he's so like sorry and that's it. I guess I want a heart felt truely remorseful apology and all. He's like whatever I said sorry. Yet I'm over here completely emotionally distribed and hurting unable to trust what the heck he is looking at right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I took my rings off and left, this was not the first time I "found out". He knew how I disliked it, knew how hurt I was by it but still continued until I left. He has not watched since my return, we had a long talk once I started talking to him again and I told him my story and why I disliked it so much and what it brought back when I found it(porn). Needless to say he now understands. I also informed if that if I found it again, I would leave and NOT return. To this day he will still tell me how sorry he is about everything, etc. He finally understands.

    This is a touchy subject, I know some women who have no problem with it at all, but some of us do. I have my reasons and I can promise you it is not because I am insecure, jealous or what ever others might think.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:27 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • you can't make any man stop. he will tell you he did but he won't. he'll just hide it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Sep. 8, 2009