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So, are you better off staying where you're at or being a single mom?

I want your opinions. If you're not happy where you are, should you stay for the sake of the {young} kids (if you can get along with your SO) or leave and be a single mom?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • OP Here: We aren't married.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • my husband has a bunch of health issues, many of them mental and many physical that he allows to cripple him both mentally and physcally. there are days i want to run away and take the kids with me. but i know that it is not an option. i made a commitment before God for better or worse to be with this man, and right now is a worse time. Could i leave.. i have two degrees so yes if i could find a job i possibly could. but would I, no. partly for sake of the kids, partly because part of me still loves part of him, and again, make a commiment.

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 5:26 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I would leave I just need to surround myself with mature Christians again and above all with God. I can't live long with someone I'm unhappy with I rather be unhappy alone and let God restore me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • if it is an abusive relationship, mental or physical, there is danger for you and the kids, then yes i would say get out. if you are not feeling "in love" with him, everyone goes through that. i am not "in love" with my husband all the time. there was a reason you were with him in the first place. what was that reason? what about him made you want to be with this man? would the two of you both be open to counseling? there are highs and lows in every relationship. am i happy every minute of my marriage no. but i would also ask, why can't you get along with him. do you want two different things out of life and neither is willing to compromise a little?

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 5:33 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • OP Here: I love him, I'm just not in love with him. And its the same for him. We are great as friends, which is how the relationship started, but we have just really grown apart. I don't really know if either one of us is really interested in staying together, but we could for the kids. He is not abusive at all, he is a great guy, I just think that someone better is going to come along (for him or for me) and we are going to be tied up with each other, and miss out on someone we are meant to be with. I mean, I am happy with him as a person, I'm just not in love with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I want to move to my home country. my husband agrees. so we are planning it. but since the shool sucks so i'll have to home school at make them get a good education. only one problem i can't find land to buy :P

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • If you are not happy then the kids pick up on that. They will think it's bc of them. Try a trial separation and see how that works for you (and them).

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:52 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Honestly, i am not a believer in the stay together for the kids mentality.
    I think it does more damage to the kids to see Mommy unhappy (they know more than you give them credit for).
    If you are truly not IN LOVE wtih eachother, what is the point.
    He can be there for you and your child, without being your SO.

    Just going to be a little more complicated.

    Answer by Princessofscots at 5:54 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • well, honestly - if you both feel that way, I think it would be better to leave happily and civil then start resenting each other later. But then again, its hard because then you are talking about one of the two of you guys not seeing your kids everyday either. Its a toss up = i didn't think it ever would be a toss up, before I had my son I never understood why people stayed together for the kids and now I couldn't spend 1 day away from my son, let alone a week or weekend. Its a tough call. but you deserve yourself to be loved and feel happy.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:57 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • OP again: Like I said, I am happy with him as a person, and I don't have a problem with him as a person. He is like my best friend in the world, I just dont love him. Do you think I could eventually love him? I don't know, I don't want to hold him back from being with someone else if he so desires, I'm not interested in anyone else (at least not at the moment). I just worry about the future. I want him to be happy, too. And maxsmom, you're absolutely right, it would kill me to not be with my girls every day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2009