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should i be concerned?

My SO calls or texts his "best friend" who is a woman every night before bed, when he gets up in the morning, all throughout the day. He gets off the phone with me on his way home because he says it's too foggy, or there's deer out, but he calls and talks to her until he gets here. Today he told me he was going into work, and then called her to talk for like 6 minutes. I have found text messages that have said 'i want to be with you' and 'i would be happier with you' and so forth, but he says if he wanted to be with her, he would be. I just don't know what to believe. I accuse him of doing all these things like deleting texts and he lies to me about it. I love him and just want her to go away, what am I supposed to do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Leave him. That sounds very fishy to me and I don't think he is being honest with you. You deserve somebody who respects you enough to be honest with you.
    sweetmoonem

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 5:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • leave him before you get hurt worse
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • You have your proof in those texts. He's cheating on you or will be very soon. You deserve better honey. YOU should be his best friend, not her. Leave him.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • wake up, reread your post, you know what he is doing, you are in denile
    he is cheating with her
    why are you denying this fact???
    that should be the question...why can you not face the facts that are beating you upside the head
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • RUN!!! Even though you "love" him, he is not loving you back the way you deserve!!
    zetta816

    Answer by zetta816 at 5:24 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I agree with feesharose 100%!
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 5:25 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • that sounds terribly fishy..him getting off the phone to talk to her is proof enough right there that she more than a best friend..also those texts..that is the answer right there..and true if he wanted to be with her he would be..BUT i think hes having his cake and eating it too. as in having a wife and a "gilrfriend"..he doesnt want to leave you but he wants her as well...make him choose..her oryou he cant have both..good luck
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 5:25 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • sit down & talk to him. See what is going on & decide IF you want to work on it. . .everyone is so quick to say leave.. . but if you want to work it out & HE DOES. .. work on it. It IS doable. . .I've been there. . .my DH had an emotional affair on me. ..& we got consueling & worked it out but you BOTH have to be willing. I'm sorry you are giong through this
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 5:25 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I know cheaters and he's a cheater. You'll probably never find good proof.. And its best you don't go snooping around, you'll hurt even worse. Don't confront him about it, he'll always deny it ALWAYS. Just say its not working out or something and leave it may be hard but worth it.
    PrincessSmasher

    Answer by PrincessSmasher at 5:26 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • OP - he is moving 4 hours away from her though, for me..I just don't understand it. he swears he isn't doing anything, and he never hangs out with her alone, ever, i make sure of it. i'm just getting tired of always checking up on him to make sure he doesn't cheat on me and he actually thinks I'M being immature by not wanting to be her friend!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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