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those with long sucessful marriges/relationships...

how do you keep going/keep trying when you just feel like giving up on the relationship? We have been in counciling for months now and while there has definatly been an improvement in our relationship, it's still just hard sometimes, our last fight was a doozy, and I honestly just feel tierd of all this, I don't know if I want to put the effort in to patch it up, I know I should...I'm just too tierd

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • idk me and my husband never fight. we have nothing to fight about. i keep my relationship good by having sex at least once a day every day. being interested in his projects (but not interfering) and his work. letting him have his own space. we comprise if we differ on things. i make sure we get to spend time together everyday. i endure stupid things like watching the game just so he will have company or endure going to a dreaded movie i do not want to see for the life of me. does this help?
    PrincessSmasher

    Answer by PrincessSmasher at 5:52 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Continued. If you really love the person, really do, you will have the strength to get through it. You have to try too. Sometimes the guy doesn't want to try but if you keep trying he will eventually start trying or maybe he'll take it for granded and you should leave him. but if you really feel like you can't try anymore maybe its time to just give up the game.
    PrincessSmasher

    Answer by PrincessSmasher at 5:55 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • IF THERE IS LOVE THEN THERE IS HOPE. BEEN MARRIED FOR 38 YEARS AND YES WE FIGHT ONCE IN A WHILE BUT THE MUTUAL RESPECT AND LOVE BRINGS US BACK, EACH AND EVERY TIME. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART IT WON'T LEAD YOU WRONG.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:57 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • i agree where there is love there is hope. as for the counseling, stick with it. it is not a quick fix type thing. we were in counseling and we seriously need to get back into it. being married to someone with depression, anxiety disorder and many physical disabilities tests a person. there are days i want to run away with the kids in tow, but I know there is hope for us. counseling really has helped. and remember just because you argue does not mean you don't love one another.
    ArmyWifeMomof3

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 6:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My hubs and I have been together 20yr (married 18). We have had our share of ups and downs, but nothing we have not talked about, worked out or compromised on. Communication is key in keeping it going. We make it a point to talk each day-- usually right after he gets home and again at bedtime. (I am WAHM so I work most of the evening when he is home). We do have 'date night' (at least once a month). It is nice to have that together time. While it is not something we have needed-- counseling can be very helpful to keep a marriage going or get it back on track.
    I wish you luck and hope all works out!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 6:53 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Honestly, in 21 years of marriage I have never felt like giving up.  They've been the best years of my life. 

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 7:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My take on it is a bit different.

    When I feel like giving up... I do... just in a different way. I quit fighting. I quit getting annoyed or angry at him. I just quit all of it. And you know, it takes two people to fight. If I'm not fighting, he's just fighting with himself. It really takes the edge off because I relax and so does he.

    We've been married 5 years and we've probably spent about 1/2 of our marriage physically together. We obviously don't have sex every day, we don't even see each other every day. :)

    We spend time together when we can, and we make a point to talk as much as possible, about everything...
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 7:23 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • 7 years together, 5 married may not be the long relationship you are talking about but I have never once wanted to give up. Sorry.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 8:20 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I push through it. I talk to him and we do whatever it takes to make it work. We do NOT have sex every day like the first poster, but hey, whatever works for you. DH is gone ALOT, and alot of times I wonder why I ever married him. I am actually going through that right now. But in the end, I love him and I will not walk away. I made that commitment to myself as much as to him, so we make it work. I can't explain how, it is just determination, and compromise.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 8:26 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I have been with DH for 10 years and married for 6. We are a military family, so that can throw extra curveballs occasionally. We COMMUNICATE about everything. Marriage is not always a bowl of cherries, you BOTH have to work at it. I don't like all of the choices my DH makes and I am well aware that he doesn't like all the choices I make. We always compromise, sometimes I compromise my position and sometimes he compromises his. Some things we are tracking with from the get go. If I were you, I would look into the PREP Marriage Enrichment Seminars. They are AWESOME and fun. I am not sure what the expense is because ours was free.
    stretchswife

    Answer by stretchswife at 8:45 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

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