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does this make me a hypocrit?

i have a friend who is in an abusive marriage like me and ask for advice and told her to make a plan to get out and she well you haven left yet and in fact i left several times but stupidly went back and finally the cops took me serious and pressed charges and my husband is getting sentenced next week, my friends says that him going to prison is the only way im gettin out, which yeah is true but he going there cause i did something about it.. am i wrong for telling her to get out be it gets as bad as mine or am i a hypocrite?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Just my opinion but it sounds to me like she is the hypocrite, not you. She tells you about her problems but when you give her advice, she obviously doesn't like the answer and therefore throws in your face that you weren't strong enough to stay away from him without the cops intervention. If she doesn't want to hear that then she should quit telling you about her relationship. My sister does this crap all the time. She is in an abusive relationship. Her hub is an idiot. She is forever calling me and wanting a pity party for the things he is doing to her but when my advice is to leave him she ends up being mad at me. I don't judge her or anyone else but I get sick of people who want to complain about everything wrong with their life and then get mad when you don't have the advice they want to hear. Maybe I'm just hormonal, lol.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 6:13 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • People are supposed to learn from their mistakes. Sometimes it takes time. You are giving advice because you have been there and know what price and pain she will have to endure. I dont think that is hypocritical.

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 6:04 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Advice is ease and usually right. if she asks why you didn't get out, tell her you weren't stronge enough to stay away...but you were stronge enough to dial a phone. Most people need help to get them out, it's a fight with themselves most of the time. Like you, you left but went back. You needed the cops to help you get away. Now all you have to do is stay away after he gets out

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 6:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I tell women all the time to get out and it took me a dozen tries to get away. We have to be supportive of each other and not judge if one does get dragged back into it. We just keep trying. Meanwhile it doesn't make you a hypocrite for telling her what she probably already knows (to get out).


    Answer by admckenzie at 6:51 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • i have a friend who her and i tend to end up in very simalar situations all the time... not the same time of stuff your talking about... but when she is in a situation i tell her the right thing to do and she never listens yet months later when i am in the same situation i was giving her advice about she gives me the same advice i gave her, its alot easier to be on the advice giving end then on the end recieving the advice... i would just be supportive and let her know you are there for her no matter what she decides good luck and im glad you got out... ive been in that situation thankfully i got out too

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 8:01 PM on Sep. 8, 2009