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A seven year old wearing a bra?

My 7yr old step daughter is being forced to wear a sports bra cuz she is chunky and has tiny lady lumps they are no where close to being big girl breasts yet. I cant really say anything cuz her bm would take it the wrong way. my sd already hates her body cuz ur mom, grandma, and aunt call her fat all the time now they make her wear a bra. i definitely don't want to over step my boundaries but i feel the need to do something.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • If she is a little chunky I'd say the bra is probably a good idea. I say this because I developed at a very young age and I was not overweight. I was very thin but I was in a B cup when I was in 5th grade and I got teased by kids b/c they noticed that I had breasts and they didn't. They said I stuffed and made fun of me all the time. I almost missed my 5th grade graduation because a girl teased me so much about having breasts that young that I spent most of it in the bathroom crying. If she wears the sports bra it may conceal what she does have so other jealous girls don't pick on her. Its awful to have big breasts at a young age because of how mean little girls can be. I was in a D cup before 8th grade and all I've ever wanted to do is cut the damn things off because of all the hell I got. And to this day (I'm 24) women still say mean things behind my back about me stuffing or having implants.
    amyrw

    Answer by amyrw at 8:30 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I think your a very important person in this young girls life and you should have a say and it's ok to have an opinion in this matter. If you feel you need to speak up on this situation, than do so your her step-mom. Good luck.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I was 8 when I 1st wore a bra.... most because I was fat. they weren't real boobs til I was 11 or so...... I think a sports bra is appropriate if they're visibley breast shaped. She has enough problems without adding in the only 2nd grader with boobs. she's probably more comfy and confidant in gym with it on. join a fitness club with her, take a swimming class with her.... take her to a fun healthy cooking and/or nutrition class. be her savior.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:15 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My daughter is 2 years old a bit on the chunky side. Our situation is slightly diffrent though. I like for her to wear undershirts because I don't like the "nipple show". To buy her cute bras and panties and such is a huge part of having fun with being a girl. My daughter LOVES picking out her undershirts and panties! So, the sports bra, I wouldn't have a problem if this was happening to me. Calling her fat? That is what I would be upset about. And I find baby chunk to be absolutely adorable, lol. I would definitely have a talk with her about being called fat, at least she has SOMEONE who cares enough about her to think her being called fat is not okay.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 6:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Keep telling her she is beautiful even if it doesn't seem to make a difference. If you shop for her buy her clothes that will flatter her - I think chunkier girls look great in long tops with leggins. You might even buy her some cool colored tank tops w/ shelf bras to wear under her clothes - might seem a little less like a bra (my 13 yo still prefers these and they come in all sorts of cute colors and patterns). I don't know how you can really say anything to BM and get a postive reaction, so just do what you can to be a positive in SD's life. I think like the first poster said, SD might actually feel less self conscious wearing a sports bra than going without.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • You definitely have a say in this matter when she is in your care. But if her BM has her most of the time, and she is in no way hurting your SD, there is not much you can do. You could try talking to the BM if you feel she is hurting her daughter's self-esteem.
    sweetmoonem

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 6:26 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I would talk to your husband first, because if the other women in her life are calling her fat they are totally going to kill her self esteem. This is why girls develop anorexia and bulemia, because they see what they think is a stereotypical body and feel that they just can't measure up. I am overweight and my dd is thin, and I make a point to talk to her about body issues. Fat is not a bad word in our home, she's asked me a few times why I'm fat. Maybe you could talk to your sd about her weight, and buy her some tank top shirts with the bras built in.
    emnasmom

    Answer by emnasmom at 6:43 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • my dd turned 5 today she has been wearing bras for 6 months now not that she has anything to cover she wants to be like mommy and she want to be able to take her shirt off in front of her cousins who happen to be boys...so she needs to be covered...i would explain to her that she going to develope faster than some girls and eventually everyone will ahve to wear a bra...i would speak to her dad and her bio mom about the way they talk to her that bs to be calling a kid fat...they should be helping her feel comfy with her body or try helping her lose weight or tone up
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 7:15 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I have to agree with her mom, I have all daughters,my daughters went from t-shirts to the little sports bars, I am really surprise she don't like wearing a little bra,most little girls beg for them,if, you make her feel pretty and try to explain to her,that sometimes ladies and little girls have to wear a bra early, she will be fine, if,you go against her mom,this will and can caused some problems.

    lady-t3984

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 7:37 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • the best thing to do is not make an issue of the sports bra, and work on teaching her healthy eating habits and ways to keep herself healthy. This will help her body image much more than focusing on what the other people in her life influence her with.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 7:42 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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