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Little girl adopted my husband. Is this ok?

So, our neighbor has a 5 year old daughter that hangs out with my kids. No problem, there. However, whenever my husband comes out, she is constantly hugging him. Yesterday at my dad's cookout, she got hurt and climbed up on my hubby's lap for consolation. Yes, her mother was there, no her dad stayed at home (as usual) and wasn't there.

So, my question is what do y'all think about this? Her mother doesn't seem bothered, but my hubby and I don't know what to think of it. We truly enjoy spending time with the two of them (her hubby as well, when he shows). We are just confused.

Also - this was totally initiated by the little girl. My hubby did not instigate at all.

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MommyTurtle1985

Asked by MommyTurtle1985 at 6:20 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 6 (109 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Aw, that sounds cute. Maybe her daddy doesn't spend enough time with her so she is confiding in your hubby for a daddy figure.
    colesmommy2009

    Answer by colesmommy2009 at 6:21 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Sounds like her dad is a deadbeat and she sees your hubby as a nice man and looks up to him. Poor girl! I feel bad for her, her dad needs to step up!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 6:21 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I think the little girl needs a good male role model. Obviously her daddy isn't always around when she needs him. If you and your husband are fine with it then I would let it continue. If your dh is feeling weird about it then nip it in the bud.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 6:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I personally wouldn't let my daughter climb on any man who wasn't her dad but thats just me and my own opinion. If you, your hub, and the little girls parents don't see a problem with it then I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. She feels safe and comfortable with your hub, I'd take it as a compliment.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 6:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Just from what you say about her dad rarely showing up to play outside, maybe she needs a father figure and isn't getting it from her dad. Maybe she feels like your husband gives her that attention she needs? That is strange that she'd go to your husband and not her mother for consolation though... I guess if it's really bothering you guys, talk to her mom and see what they say?
    MommaTurbo

    Answer by MommaTurbo at 6:23 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • She must like what she sees when he is with his kids. Maybe the dad doesn't show much care to her. I think it's fine to let her use your hubby for comfurt. Just try not to let it happen the the dad is there
    GotToHaveFaith

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 6:24 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • It sounds like her dad isn't much of dad. While it's good she has a positive male influence like your husband, it might still be a good idea to talk to her mother. She should be dealing with this and getting her husband to step up and take his place as father more seriously.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My DH is a kid magnet. Maybe yours is too. If this is the case, then just be glad about it. If this isn't the case, then I would talk to the mom about it as casually as possible - just mention what you've noticed. Chances are mom knows why the girl is behaving this way, and maybe just mentioning it will be enough to make her realize it's not quite normal and address it. If you are close to the mom, you might even tell her it makes your DH a little uncomfortable, but I wouldn't go there if she seems shaken by your observations. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I also don't like seeing little girls climb on men laps,but,for some reason,she feel secure with him. About 2 years ago,a church member of ours brought her 2 foster daughters to church,they were 3 and 4,when,my DD walked in church,the 3 yr. old,jumped in my DD lap,and would not let go,so,after church,we were trying to go home,and this child just screamed,so finally we just left.,the following Sunday,the same thing happens,but, this time,that night the member called me and asked me could I bring my DD to her house,she said the child had been screaming,since they left church. We never understood why she had such an attachment to my DD,but, we ended up with another child, she started coming to my home,going to family functions with us,she stopped crying,she is now 5,and doing well,she just went back to her bio-mom.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • It's a little strange, and I"m not sure I'd be comfortable with it, but maybe this girl just sees something in your DH that she's not getting from her own father. If the mom has no issues with it and your DH doesn't mind, I see no harm in letting him console her. My SO is a great male role model for my sisters kids who don't have dads around.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 7:31 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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