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Does it seem that some moms volunteer at school for non-altruistic reasons?

Like basically to get preferential treatment for their kids? I enjoy volunteering at my kids' school, but it is not my life. There is a group of moms at the school who are there ALL THE TIME! It amazes me. I know some of them personally and it's not like they are out there helping out elsewhere in the community. I just have to wonder what the motivation is. Are they really that concerned with helping to improve the school or do they feel that their little darlings are going to be treated differently because of it? Are there moms like that at your child's school?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (13)

    Answer by older at 6:58 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • There are lots of reasons that a mom would help the children at school, to help teachers, to make sure their kids are ok (too over protective), to get special treatment, maybe to put their foot in the door for a possible job ( I know several people who got a job in the library or school office just b/c they volunteered.)

    Or maybe they dont have anything else to do while their child is at school, Maybe they enjoy being needed.....

    I am sure there are a million different reasons....and I am sure some of them believe it might help their child....

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I'd love to do this although I feel that they are already so attached that it would just give them more of me to play games with and help them feel fascinated with enabling mommy, to the point where I am not a mommy but manipulated, so I stay out on the backround scene. It isn't that I don't believe in volunteering and helping I did for one of mine, during the course of pre-school, and tried to for the other but I just felt that it wasn't giving the one anything else so it didn't help me. If I do volunteer it would be strictly for me, to get interaction with a group of adults doing the same thing, as in cafeteria help or in helping with an event if need be. But to volunteer to read etc, I don't see that the children appreciate that, I did, but times were alot different, and we aren't even looked at the same way, someone talk sense into this cuz it sounds wishy washy, ......your turn

    Answer by coffeeyum at 7:08 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I volunteer regularly at school - about 2-3 hours a week, plus any special events they need help with. I also have lunch with my daughter once a week. (Well, that was my schedule last year - this year I won't be able to do as much because I have a baby coming). Anyway, it never occured to me that we'd get preferential treatment because of it, so that's not my motivation at all! I do it because my kids love to have me in their classroom, they know that mom cares about their education, plus I can see first hand what goes on in their class amongst the kids and it really has helped me know how to deal with problems that come up. Also, the teachers love to have help and I'm glad to be able to do so. Just because my kids are in school doesn't mean I have to stop being a mom and take all the time for myself. I enjoy being involved in my kids lives. I don't understand why someone WOULDN'T want to volunteer??

    Answer by goldenfox at 7:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I can see your point. I volunteered once a week but only a handful of women did what you describe. I think in public school they aren't going to get preferential treatment. Maybe they are just really bored?

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:20 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I also think you are looking at it negatively. At least they are volunteering at all, right? I will probably seem like one of them moms myself, when the time comes... but I promise you it will really be because I want to stay involved in my child's life as much as possible.

    Answer by Seven07 at 7:23 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I'm one of those moms who volunteers at the school alot. I don't do it to get dd preferential treatment, I do it so that I can be sure that she is getting a quality education and I do all that I can to make sure that it happens. I have helped teach many a child how to read while the teacher teaches other children their ABC's since their own parents couldn't be bothered (in kindergarten). I usually work with the kids that are more advanced in the class so that the teacher has time to concentrate on the kids that are behind. If I wasn't in the classroom helping all of the kids would be forced to be "behind" because the teacher had her hands full with the children that were sent to school ill prepared. I have cried with a child who told me that his dad is in jail, I brought in snacks for kids whose parents didn't send any in with them, I arranged every class party and paid for most of it myself so they could all enjoy it.

    Answer by slw123 at 7:45 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I don't do any of it to get preferential treatment, I do it all because I CAN and I want to. Now that a new school year has started, I'm looking forward to working with the new teacher. She has already passed on some craft stuff for me to prepare. I would hate to think that there was some parent out there thinking that it is all just for my child's benefit when anything that I do benefits all of the kids.

    Answer by slw123 at 7:47 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Once my son starts regular school and i'm able to volunteer (Given i'm not working or going to school) then you can damn well guarantee I will be at his school as much as necessary even if it is everyday. Am I doing it thinking my son will get better treatment? Nope. I will be doing it to help better my sons school. Even if i'm not working with him or his class directly I know it will be beneficial to him in some form or another. Not sure why you see such an issue with it.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 7:53 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • When my DD was in Kindergarten, they had parties all the time. This same group of moms was always there, and OHMYGOODNESS! Always trying to one up the other one. Like it was so competitive, the kids werent even focused on. There was one day- one mom dressed like the easter bunny, and another mom was mad because shed spent TONS of money on these cupcakes, and the kids forgot the cupcakes, and the mom was pissed. Sometimes it is a popularity contest. Other times, moms really just want to be a part of the kids lives.

    Answer by amandasheree at 9:06 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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