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I'm stressed and I dont know what to do

I feel like I need Nanny 911 to come over! I'm a single mom..live with my family. This is by far the hardest thing in the world. My DD is 14 months and I feel like she never EVER listens to me. Nothing phases her. I went shopping today and she won't sit in her stroller for very long. I tried to give her something to play with but shes so hyper and active that she wants to get out and run. But when I let her down she pulls everything off shelves and racks. When I pick her up she does everything in her power to get down. She's SO strong! I am firm with her, I've smacked her, I even tried to calm my voice to calm her. Those things either dont work at all or lasts only 2 seconds. I dont know what to do anymore! She NEEEEEEEEDS a father figure!! Someone to put her in her place. When my bf comes to town to visit (who is not the biodad) she listens to him . I need help on what to do! :( :(

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Keeely07

Asked by Keeely07 at 8:17 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 17 (4,476 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • First of all, discipline is always trial-and-error. What works for some kids doesn't work for others. So, the method of "calming your voice" didn't work. "Smacking her" didn't work (BTW, hitting a 14 month old is incredibly pointless, they don't understand anything at that age about consequences so all you are doing is teaching her that hitting is okay). So, try something else. Try only taking her places when she is in a good mood, or just not taking her to the store at all. You say you live with your family - either get them to shop for you, or leave her home with someone whenn you need to go. At 14 months, you can't expect them to understand that they can't touch any and everything in reach. You just can't expect that. So try avoiding the situation altogether. And don't get frustrated - all toddlers are "grabby", it isn't a discipline type issue. It is a "teaching" moment. Teach "look, don't touch".
    Iskkra

    Answer by Iskkra at 8:36 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I agree. My daughter screams everytime we put her in the shopping cart and i used to feel bad so I would carry her and push the cart and that becomes way too hard. Now as we are driving to the store I tell her repeatedly whats going to happen. I tell her she is going to be a big girl and sit in the cart. She still yells, kicks and throws a fit when i put her in but i ignore it. It lasts only a few mins. I also try to keep the cart going. I dont stop to look around, i go in, get what I need and move on. Avoid malls and places that you dont necessarily "need" to be in with him. Just do the grocery shopping and get the necessities. You may even find you'll save money if you try to go faster! Good luck. But like everything else with little ones; its a phase and they will grow out of it.
    ashleyuc07

    Answer by ashleyuc07 at 8:49 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I really do try all that..even letting her stay here for them to watch her. She actually was in a really good mood. I guess I just stayed out to late or something. I need other options of what to do. She is so hyperactive and strong. She goes against what I say or do but when her dad is around or my bf she listens to them. Not me tho! Its annoying. I REALLY REALLY try not to smack her. like forreal. bc i KNOW its only teaching her that hitting is good. but I mostly did it just to get her attention bc she was screaming. Idk..I just feel like I have no control with her whatsoever. I see other mommies around and their babies are super good. Its like what do they do that i dont do? probably alot but tahts why im asking this question lol....what do u do! haha
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 8:50 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • is she getting enough play/exercise time everyday?
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 8:56 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • yeah i think so. i mean she plays throughout the day. and we take her outside but at same time we live in villas and theres like no yard or she will run in the street. so annoying. i hate it.
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 8:59 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I am a single mom too, and I know EXACTLY what you are going through. My dd is 26 months now and she STILL does this. Some days are better than others. I try to go to the store before I pick her up from daycare, but sometimes it just doesn't work that way. So I strap her into the cart (sometimes that is a battle all by itself) and she has to sit down all the way through the store. There have been visits where she has literally screamed all the way through the store. But I do not give in. Sometimes people give me weird looks, but I don't really care. I am working really hard to not allow her to call the shots. I know that isn't much help, but that's how I try and handle it. Good luck!!!
    rmattes

    Answer by rmattes at 11:43 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • oh my lordy...i have the same exact problem. she will stand up in carts like its her job! i have to tell her to sit down a MILLION times. its so annoying. idk what to do :( she needs a daddy
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 11:56 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

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