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Need advice on leaving my husband...

Right now I make $800 a month babysitting so my son comes with me, so no child care needed. My car note is $300. I am thinking about trying to rent a room for $400 or $500 a month. Sometimes I work a night babysitting job that pays $40 a night. 3 or 4 nights a week. How much should he give me for child support? He brings home about $1000 every 2 weeks. I can get a Cricket phone for around $60 I guess. Can I afford to leave him? Any thing I should know?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Why?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • It sounds like you have most of it figured out. What about food, entertainment, saving for a rainy day emergency fund? My brother's not married and just paying for his son is almost half his check every week. I tried making more money for himself and she went after that. So it depend on who has a better lawyer. But what happens as you child gets older. Who's going to watch him when you're working?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Bc he won't work on or marriage. He wants to change everything I am but he won't change anything. I admit I do need to change a lot about myself but so does he. And whenever I try to talk about it he ignores me completely. This has been off and on for the past 5 years and I just can't see myself with him forever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • well it sounds pretty self sufficient, and it's all in your favor, what more do you need to know?
    go one step at a time, because so far it's always going to be challeging, no matter how good one has it. What if some or a couple of those jobs dont' need you anymore? Can you be flexible to getting other jobs??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Have you ever watched that movie Fireproof? That could be an ice breaker on him or both of you deciding to change for the better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • OP- hopefully if the people I babysit for don't need me I can find another babysitting job. I will probably also look for a weekend job bc I have family that can babysit weekends for me. I would like to save up and go to massage therapy school but I don't know how much I will be able to save.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Could you possibly get your state license and actually have an in home daycare where you take on more children? Some states require you to have a license to watch more than like 5 kids at a time. That way you could bring in more income but have the same job and still watch the same children, just take on a few more. That should give you enough money to live off of incase you don't get much in child support or if he is a low life who just doesn't pay. I would never count childsupport as guarenteed money in your budget b/c sometimes men run away to another state just to avoid it or would rather go to jail than pay it. Also child support can change depending on whether or not he keeps the same job so you never know how much you're really going to get in the future.
    amyrw

    Answer by amyrw at 9:20 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • OP- no, I can't do an in-home day care right now bc I will be renting a room. The people I babysit for now, I go to their house. I really don't think my husband will skip out on CS bc he is an excellent father who loves his son very much. He wouldn't want him to suffer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • OP- the second babysitting job is 3 or 4 nights a month not a week.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • When my daughter was a year old, I left her father. At the time, I couldnt really afford to leave him. I had wanted to since I was pregnant with her. I, unfortunately, stayed until I could afford something. I ran into an old friend of mine about a month before my daughter turned 1. She said I could stay with her until I got things in order. I left the day after my daughter's first birthday party. I stayed with my friend for about 6 months, saved up some money and then got an apartment with my sister. Now, I am a SAHM of my now 9 year old daughter and 3 year old son. I wouldnt recommend staying with your husband out of convenience. If you can find a roommate or a friend or family member that will let you stay with them for a few months until you can get money saved, etc., I highly recommend that. If I could have left my daughter's father earlier, I would have. Also, good father or not, don't take his word on CS. Go to court.
    amyla_2004

    Answer by amyla_2004 at 9:33 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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