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I just found out I am pregnant and my sister is jealous, how do I deal?

So my sister just got married a few months ago but she has been trying to conceive with her husband for a long time now, maybe like 2 years. My mother told me that my sister had expressed her feelings and is jealous of me and doesnt want to be around me. My sister has not went to the doctor at all during trying to conceive. And she doesnt know anything about ovulating or anything. I have tried helping her but its not like she wants to learn. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. I do feel for her but I dont know how to deal with this or how I can make her feel better. Can I get some advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • You really can't make her feel better, she is the owner of her feelings not you. As long as you let her know she can come to you for anything, that's all you can do.
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 8:50 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Maybe some time apart is okay.
    It sounds like she needs to get information~ there is a possibility she might conceive if she learns how to track her cycle and all. If she doesn't want to learn about it then it's her deal, not your problem.
    When she is ready to figure it out (for real), she can come back to you or get it elsewhere... This is her issue to work through.

    btw~ CONGRATULATIONS to you! :-)
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 8:53 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • wow, first of all, CONGRATS GIRL!! =)
    second of all, this is the same exact situation I was just going through!! so weird l0l
    Sister was trying to conceive for about 4 years and I was with my boyfriend for about 7months and got pregnant.. She got soooo jealous and started taking it out on me! Saying bad things, and then she met someone else, they were together for 6months and now shes pregnant too!
    so you never know, it just might work out..
    Tell her to be paitent and it will just happen =)
    xohcannizzo

    Answer by xohcannizzo at 8:59 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • As someone who had to TTC for a year...Please...NEVER EVER say this to someone who is trying to conceive and has been unsuccessful --> "Tell her to be paitent and it will just happen =) "
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 9:03 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I would never tell her to be patient. I just feel bad and I want to help. But I feel like my help is no good to her and that she wont come around. I just feel that she should go to the doctor and get some help before getting upset with me. Maybe I should get her some books on ttc? And maybe some opk's? And a bunch of information? Or would that be affending to her?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • It's hard to contain all those emotions. Only you know your sister. But if she doesn't want to learn there isn't anything you can do.

    If you want to get her Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Tony Weschler that's a good book if you know she doesn't have it and if she'll take it. But I perrsonally wouldn't go beyond that.
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 9:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I would just let her ride this one out. It cant be easy on her and all you can do is sympathize for her. Even if she doesnt want you around. Take care of yourself and just hope and pray that she gets the joy of being pregnant also! Congrats to you!
    ashleyuc07

    Answer by ashleyuc07 at 9:20 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I love providing books and links~ BUT she must express a *genuine* interest...
    Maybe you can tell her htat you heard about this great book & website, give her the link. If she goes there and digs it you could buy her the book...

    (At least this is what I might do.)
    ;-)
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 9:33 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Stop carrying that burden on your back. It will only stress you out, which is really bad for you physically. Your sister is an adult and if she really wanted to conceive and was committed to it, she'd learn more about her body and she would see a doctor. There is nothing you can do. Be happy for yourself :) Congratulations!
    sweetmoonem

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 10:21 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • My sister has been married for almost five years. She has PCOS and has never used birthcontrol, and wants a baby sooo bad. I was married for 3 months and using birth control when I got pregnant lol. At first I was really nervous about telling her ebcause I htought she would get upset. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I shouldn't have to worry about her feelings. She doesn't take her meds or do anything that the docs have told her to do to try to get pregnant. It sounds cold I know... But you can only be responsible for you. Do I feel bad that she can't have kids? of course I do, I know how much she wants a baby. But I refuse to let myself feel bad because I got pregnant and she isn't, espically when she isn't taking care of herself like she needs to be. Give your sister time, things will come around for her. Congrats and good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

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