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If you have strong opinions about certain parenting issues, do you feel you come off to other moms as "jugmental" or "know it all"?

It occurs to me that many moms/people tend to think that if you have a strong stance on a topic, be it contravercial or ordinary, you are judging them somehow or putting them down just by being confident in your position. Have any of you experienced this? I am always careful not to come off as closed minded with other moms because I can be quite open to other opinions, there are just some things that I see as more black and white...and I think that can be upsetting to people on the "other" side.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • in general I don't think people consider me judgemental - though I can stand pretty strong on some stuff! :-) I did leave a group once because of an opinion I gave. The GO disagreed with me and I tried to clarify. Then I 'got in trouble' for debating because it wasn't a debate group and I needed to keep those comments out!! I was shocked! That was the first time I have been called out for coming down strongly on something, and I really didn't intend to. We had been asked our opinion. Lol! Oh well. I know everyone responds differently and I have probably sounded harsh to some!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 10:11 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • i probably do when its something i feel strongly about, but really if i'm going to bat for that opinion so much, i don't care how it makes me appear. i go with what works best for my family, every family works differently, so i respect the fact that others will feel strongly about something different than me, and unless they actually attack (calling me a bad mother for ex or something like that) than i don't take offense, and would hope that no one else does as well.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:12 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I would say that people may think of me that way sometimes, but if someone asks an opinion they are going to get one, and it may not necessarily be what they want to hear. It doesn't mean that I am rude or close minded, just that I believe what I believe. That's why I try not to let other people's opinions bother me. Everyone has the right to think the way they want to.
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 10:13 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I feel very strong on certain subjects and wouldn't be suprised if I come off like that. If someone has a clarification question I'd be happy to clarify. I also have a problem saying what i mean and what I say. It's a troublesome for me!
    fireangel0310

    Answer by fireangel0310 at 10:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I try not to but it has been know to happen...I don't try to though. It's like sometimes what I say is misconstrued or miss read because it is so hard to word some things because the way you would say it and the way people read it become two totally different things. The other problem i have is people attempting to read between my lines and adding things in that were never meant to be implied...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:21 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I am pretty judgemental, I admit. A lot of it is being a new mom and "knowing" my way is the "right" way. Sometimes I forget to assign good intent to moms who choose to do things differently with their little ones.
    Kat770

    Answer by Kat770 at 11:31 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Although I have a strong personality and opinions about certain subjects, I also always make sure to clarify that because somethings work for me in a certain way, they do not necessarily work the same for others. I try to be aware of the words and tone I use, and make a concious effort to remain objective and neutral. For example, I am not for CIO. But I know it works wonderfully for some parents. Who am I to judge? The same for exclusive/extended breastfeeding. It worked for me, but that is just ME. If a mom does not like BF'ing for whatever reason, it is her body and her breasts! No one should judge a mom for choosing FF. So, most of my friends agree that I do have a strong ground for my opinions, but at the same time, I am respecful of other's POV's as well. I think that is well balanced.
    PrincesaBoricua

    Answer by PrincesaBoricua at 11:40 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Stating your opinion on something is fine: I don't think feeding hotdogs to your children is healthy. A jusgemental statement: people who feed their kids hotdogs are bad and lazy mothers. That is being judgemental
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 11:43 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I think I am the same way as you. I believe I am open minded, but there are certain things that I feel more strongly on. I do try to listen regardless though, since sometimes when I hear a different opinion, even on something I feel strongly about, I can sometimes change my mind. I can't do it in the heat of the moment, but after I brew something around in my head for a while, and research it on my own, then I can be reasonable. But if someone pushes their opinion on me, then I get my back up and get stubborn, so I try to give it time to sink in. Plus, I try really hard to not give my opinion on touchy subjects unless somebody asks my thoughts. Otherwise, I think that they would be as stubborn as me, and we are all different and have different opinions, so it would be an argument for nothing.
    kiki2780

    Answer by kiki2780 at 12:48 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • i think when people feel strongly about something its usually something they are passionate about. and when passions get involved people get easily offended as if you just slapped their child by disagreeing with their parenting beliefs and values. this being a site for moms the one thing we all have in common is the thing we are most passionate about and therefore can be over sensitive and over zealous. i try not to come on very strong but somethings light a fire under my butt and i feel the need to get up on my soapbox.
    treystiredmommy

    Answer by treystiredmommy at 12:58 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

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