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what should I do???

one of my half brothers is having a wedding Im invited but Im upset that Im not IN it. My other brothers are in it I have no other sisters. Our mother is pretty mad because Im not in it but shes not going because shes sick. Do you think I should still go? I already asked why I wasnt in it he told me it was up to his wife to be whos in the wedding eventhough he has promised I would be in his wedding if he ever got married!!what should I do Im confused and pissed! besides I dont have the money for a dress (its really formal) and SL just got laid off again! but if I could get a dress Im thinking I should go because if I dont I would be just like them, spitefull what would you do???

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Asked by Jakesmom000 at 10:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • I think that it's not up to your brother who are his wife's bridesmaids and if you're not close with her then it's absolutely okay that she didn't ask you to be one.

    I think you should just suck it up and go. And DON"T be pissy while you're there.

    Answer by jennifercalling at 10:17 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • i'd go, like the above post said, its her bridesmaids not his. so if you aren't close to her and haven't known her for awhile its perfectly normal that she wouldn't ask you. go enjoy yourself and be happy for your brother.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Well your brother is right, his new wife to be decides who is gonna be her brides maids etc, he decides who will be his best man etc. I understand being mad, but really if you and her are not close their is no need in standing on her side just to be in the wedding. Plus if you cant afford to attend the wedding how would you have paid for your brides maid dress and matching shoes, hair, make up etc. I think you should go, this is your brothers wedding and you can sit on his side of the room. I am sure he would want you there.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 10:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • It is up to the bride. Don't be upset. It's her day. Go to a thrift store and pick up something cheap or borrow a dress and go and enjoy.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:23 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • wow the way my mother was talking its like he WAS able to choose who was in the wedding.....she is really pissed!

    Answer by Jakesmom000 at 10:24 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • It's the bride's decision as to who she would like in her wedding. It's not your brother's place to make the decision for her. And if you don't go just b/c you're mad you're not in the wedding, I would call that being selfish and shallow. You should go and support your brother. Maybe you could do something else to offer to throw her a shower or put together a nice mural of photos of the two during the growth of their relationship. If you want to be apart of the wedding that badly, I would tell the bride that you would like to help out in some way. Offer your services and help. But, don't be spiteful and selfish.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • my brother wasn't in my wedding. he wasn't hurt though. he was just happy to be invited.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • Actually, it is up to your brother who is in the wedding. When your getting married, it's usually because your in love, and he should have told her that it would mean a lot to him if his sister was in the wedding. Even if he had to pick another groomsman... What is one extra bridesmaid? Big deal. You should have been it in. But then you know that I"m sure.
    You have to suck it up and put on a happy face for your brother, but don't be afriad to tell him that it would have meant a lot to you if they could have included you, and that your hurt.
    In fact, if there is still time, I would tell him soon. When my daughter got married, she changed the number of bridesmaids a few times over this very thing. In the end everyone who wanted to be in it was in it. Except one who was mad for not being invited in the first place and refused to be "fit in".

    Answer by CindyInSeattle at 10:45 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • If you can't afford a dress, how could you afford the bridesmaid dress?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I agree that it is up to the bride who is standing on her side at her wedding. Your brother can offer his input but really I think it is up to her. I didn't have my sil in my wedding and my brother cornered me and told me that she should be in it. I hardly knew my sil, why would I have her in my wedding? They got married while I was at college and I got married right when I was done with college, I saw her at holidays and that was it. He used that I was in their wedding, well, he was in ours. Anyway, to make everyone happy I had her be the guest book attendant. I wasn't going to have someone I didn't really know stand up with me. Perhaps you can ask your brother if there is some other way you can help out and be involved?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

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