Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

can my sons father change his primary doctor if were not together?

my sons father an i were never married, he left me when i got pregnant i went through everything by myself and not he wants full custody and everything and right now i have insurance through uw for his primary theyve been a family doctor for years and he has dean and wants to change it, is this possible?

Answer Question
 
angelnina8715

Asked by angelnina8715 at 10:33 PM on Sep. 8, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 8 (255 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • who is your son insured under as the main insurance? i would assume that that is who decides, so if he is the primary insurance than he could change it, if you are the primary insurance and his father is not attached to it other than saying he's dad i don't see how he could change it w/o your permission to do so. if you want to change it, than just call and ask what would have to be done to do so.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:35 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • i have bagercare because im a single mother and his father gets insurance through his work, i just dnt feel i should have to take my kids to 2 different doctors
    angelnina8715

    Answer by angelnina8715 at 10:43 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

  • I agree with the first poster. . . how is the father involved legally? is there a custody agreement between the two of you? Who has physical custody? That parent gets to make the day to day decisions including doctors ( I would think) So, no, I don't think he can change insurance/doctors without your permission.


    Also, is there a reason the father wants the doctor changed besides for insurance? If he has problems with your family doc then maybe the two of you should sit down and talk about it and/or schedule a consult with the doc so the dad can ask questions/get reassurances. Remember, this is a life commitment so you and the dad need to work together if only to teach your kids how to resolve conflicts.

    chrissmom734

    Answer by chrissmom734 at 12:52 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • he cannot get FULL custody unless you are proven unfit to be a parents. the most he can have is joint visitation...esp since you were never married...why is he wanting to do this? to make your life harder? or does he have a reason that he does not like this doctor? If your handling doctors visits I would certainly think you should decide. If hes just being an ass and you have been to court, bring this up at a ref meeting...or next court date..if you have not been to court and are not going that route I would see what you can do to resolve this without all of that...men are scum I swear. They always want "custody" and have no idea the work involved with children...if he had any clue he would not be trying to make your life harder with such a trivial issue to his life. Tell him to go find a better hobby then ruining you and your child's life.
    soveryconfused

    Answer by soveryconfused at 2:26 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • He's just being a usual "man jerk".Trying to make your life miserable. He may say he wants full custody, but he really just wants to get under your skin.Stick to your guns and if this is an infant do not let him take him out of your custody. I actually went through this & possession is 9/10ths of the law especially if he's on the birth certificate. I know it's hard because I lived it, too. I've actually had to place all prescriptions I get for myself and my children at Walgreen's pharm cause my former husband would actually go pick them up, hold them and make me find where he was for me to go pick them up. Unbelieveable, huh! Walgreen's will mark your name and your child's name in their computer system as ID ONLY and it prints on your pick up sheet, unless the person picking up the prescription has your license or you have made previous arrangements with your pharmacist they will not release them.
    Jeanie1102

    Answer by Jeanie1102 at 3:12 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • That's just something else to think about, because he's gonna be thinking of all kind of ways to get too you. Especially if he's trying to change the doctor.
    Jeanie1102

    Answer by Jeanie1102 at 3:13 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • i dont know what state u live in but in IA there is a law that if the couple was not married the father HAS NO LEGAL RIGHTS unless given by the court so if you move and take your kids with you he can't have them unless court ordered get in touch with a family lawyer that does custody cases. or contact your state legal aid they might be able to help you. Most men don't get full custody they don't deserve it most of the time anyways. Guys r losers when it comes to break ups and the kids they work and won't be around the kid any ways y do they want the?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • the court ordered that since i have bagercare that he should have insurance for him and i gave him all his doctors infor because of that and then when i get the his insurance card its dean and when i told him he didnt have dean and he know he had uw health he said well thats my insurance, hes doing alot of things to make my life hell and i cant take it, he didnt even want him in the first place and had the court do paternity because he didnt believe my son was also his and now him and his wife want to take him from me and his sister cuz im thinking im a single mother, hes also recording me on the phone and using them in court which i dnt thnk is legal as long as im not threatening or saying anything wrong which im not
    angelnina8715

    Answer by angelnina8715 at 9:45 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.