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Does anyone else share my thoughts here?

Does anyone else ever wonder what people were thinking when they got with the people they have kids with? All I ever read are questions from moms saying, "my child's father doesn't pay child support, doesn't see the kid, left me when I was pregnant, etc." I'm not trying to bash and I have total sympathy for these women but throughout my life I've only ever had relationships with people I could see staying with. If they aren't good enough for your kid, what made them good enough for you?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think maybe sometimes they do see themselves staying with that person but then things don't work out later on. Or maybe not, I don't know. I don't judge anyone either, crap happens, relationships don't always work out.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 12:26 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I have no idea. There are quite a few scum bag baby daddy's.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • The women I know that had babies with Losers they thought it might make their men grow up. The relationship never change to the better with kids it just got worse.
    Some women like to learn things the hard way.
    I told some not to get married and they did. Now they have to work and take care of their kids alone with no money. It is sad to see.

    The men do not hide who they are. You just hope you can change them.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:44 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • My first husband told me he wanted a family, and wanted this and that, and everything we did.. We got married, had two kids, got our own place.. and then it seemed he didn't want it after he had it.. He started leaving and staying gone all night and sometimes till the next day. Then he got abusive with me, i guess so i would just leave... Then after we got divorced he stopped wanting to see the kids, i had to hunt him down for his visitation, then he called me up and said he didn't want them anymore... I never saw any of this coming.. I thought we were a great match. So of course, You couldn't be bashing, that would be like telling someone they're dumb and should have known that their kid was going to cancer or something.. Its heartbreaking.. but life goes on.
    MJ_BN_FE

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 12:59 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • That's what I encourage my sons to NOT marry any time soon. After making THAT mistake I firmly believe that 17, 18, 19 years old is not mature enough to make decisions that will span the rest of your lifetime. Having a child is one thing - that's a bond which is instant & natural - but the bonds of matrimony don't rely on such things - and is much more prone to decay. Especially when immaturity, lack of wisdom and selfishness are parts of the marriage. What's worse is that none of those things can be held against the person(s). Maturity comes with age, wisdom with experience and selfishness with humanity - it takes recognizing that; while trying to balance self respect, love and willingness to compromise. But sometimes it can't be done because the parties aren't capable - yet.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 6:23 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • In my experiance, my sons dad and me were very happy and had gotten married, well about a year late i got pg, and four months after that he said he didn't want to be with me anymore, and we got divorced then he left, not to be heard from, his son is 1 and has never even seen him, nor does he pay child support. I didn't see it coming we had even discussed before we got married or pg, on if it didn't work out in the end if he would still be there for his kid, and he had said yes, that nothing would ever make him abandon his child, but he did. I am 21, was 19 when preggo had him at 20, his dad is now 30 so its not like we were both young and rushed things.
    vgiron

    Answer by vgiron at 6:24 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I agree with PaceMyself.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 7:48 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

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