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divorced 2 years; how do I talk to my boys about how it is for them now?

I have 10 year old twin boys. My ex and I divorced in May 07. The boys and I stayed in our marital home for a year then moved into a new house when they were 8. I have a boyfriend and my ex has a girlfriend both of whom are spending time with our sons. How do I breach the "how do you feel about mom and dad having g/b'friends without confusing them? Do they even recognize that they are g/b'friends?

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Asked by danishay at 8:27 AM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (4)
  • Owe they know. Kids are smarter then you think. Why did you not talk to them before you and your EX divorced and get this all out in the open. You know, about the divorce and potential boyfriends and girlfriends.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:32 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I'm sure they recognize it. I would just ask - it can be a short sweet conversation - in fact it should be short and sweet. Make it a dinner conversation. "Hey, guys, mom was thinking about something and wants to know what you think. I think Dad and I are very happy now that Dad has Jane and I have John - and Dad and I would like to know if you are happy about our living situations?" " Do you worry about anything about Dad and me or about Jane and John?"

    Straight up, simple, sweet and not too invasive. Accept what they say, and don't elaborate too much. If one or both say something that gives you reason to pause - then discuss it with the ex and broach it a different day - too much at one time is what overwhelms the kids. I'm sure if you keep it short, sweet and straight to the point (kids don't get metaphors completely) then you'll get your answer.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 8:35 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I think PaceMyself is right...Good answer PM

    Answer by TeenerBeener75 at 10:21 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Love PaceMyself's answer! One smart lady!

    Answer by crittermomma at 4:24 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

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