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I didnt realize this till hubby explained i think its pretty messed...the whole "keep your men on a leash" idea

My husband and i went out late for a snack last night and we brought up our past bad relationships and i knew his ex g/f before me whom he was with for about 2 years or more ( she was one of those annoying nuts...) anyways, after he lectured me for being stupid enough to put up with my ex lol( yah he does this alot but its mostly playing he doesnt really call me stupid! or make me feel that way!) he made me realize just how many woman put their "men on a leash" type of thing... i never thought about it but alot of women dont like it when their men go out and have guy time or drink or have a cigg once in awhile.. just little things like that that i never care about, basically i dont make up a "set of rules" for him... just ask him to love me and be faithfull and to take care of me and his soon 2b here baby girl... anyone make up a "set of rules"? or think its rediculous to make up "rules"

 
armymum1013

Asked by armymum1013 at 8:45 AM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • a set of rules is only good if both parties agree to it. now, if they both want to be put on leashes..that's their bag.
    if you don't trust your spouse enough to have a little guy time, there is something wrong in your marriage, bigger than the drink or cigarette. i can understand mistrust, if there's been evidence/reason to mistrust his/her actions..but ultimately, you can't control someone's heart. if they are going to cheat on you, when they leave your presence, they will..and again, something is wrong in the relationship. chains and leashes won't fix it!
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 8:50 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • The only rules I have for my hubby are the same as you. Love me, take care of me and our children, be faithful and truthful. Setting rules for a grown man can only make things worse for a relationship. I allow my hubby guys night out. Although, he rather stay home with me or go out with me! LOL
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 8:49 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • No, my husband is a grown man and can make up his own mind about where he wants to spend his time or what he wants to do. I don't make up rules for him, and I wouldn't have married him if I had felt the need. If he were staying out all night or going out every night I would be upset, but again, I wouldn't have married him if that were the case.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:50 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Wow im glad im not the only one who sees it that way ! :-D. so im not crazy like the cousin says.. she's just... got issues lol
    armymum1013

    Answer by armymum1013 at 8:53 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • If you want to call it that. But I do not call it that. I call it what married men should not be doing. Not going out to bars. You can drink at home. The going out and staying out all night thing. Your married not single. I have know problem if he and his friends want to either go to their house or our house and drink and watch football. But not to bars.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:04 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • these women set the rules and put them on a leash but men always find a way. she has to let go to let him go to work and that's usually when men get back at her for being such a witch and cheat
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I dont mind if my Dh goes and has guy time, and he doesnt mind that I have girl time. We dont have to set up rules or guidlines. we trust eachother. But i do know poeple like that. I invited my cousin out for a drink and she said no because if she went out without her Dh she'd have to let him out without her. Pretty messed up, if you cant trust your own SO enough to go out with out them.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 9:38 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Nope, my hubs is a mature adult and can do what he pleases. ( and so can I). I have no reason not to trust him, he takes our marriage vows seriously, he comes home after work every night, he does not drink or do drugs, he does not hang in bars, he does not stay out till all hours and not call. On the rare times he will be late he does call me.
    I am his wife, not his mom. I don't think it is right to tell him what he can/can't do or make rules for him to follow, as I KNOW I would not like it and have a fit if he tried to do that to me.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:41 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • My Husband and I have a mutual respect for our marriage, and each other. We both agree that when you put yourself in those situations that it will just create problems. We got married for a reason, and one was to be together and live as one. If we go out, it's together. No girls, or guys night out. We have a date night when he's home, we play a lot as a family, and enjoy hanging out at home taking care of our family. We also spend enough time apart and have a strong trust. My Hubby is gone a month at a time with his job so if we didn't have a strong respect and trust in each other it could never work. He's my best friend, everyone else are just friends. That's what works for our marriage/relationship. Btw, we don't use the words "allow" or "let" in our marriage, it all comes back to respect.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:33 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

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