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Would you go to his funeral

My grandfather had a stroke and the doctors have pretty much said that he doesn't have very long to live.He has sexually abused several family members including my sister when she was a teen.After my grandmother died he went to her friends house and tried to grope her,but she slapped him and told him to get the hell out.Who knows how many other women he has done this to.I have'nt had anything to do with him since my grandma died.He is repulsive to me.I don't think that everyone in the family knows about his behavior and the women that he abused aren't anxious to talk about it.Which i don't blame them.My father lives next to him and has been taking care of him since my grandma died 5 yrs ago.I don't know if i should go to his funeral just to be there for my dad.What would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Your father knows what he did, as does many other relatives. I would not go to the shitbags funeral.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • If your father needs you there for him then i would go but if your not needed there then allow him to rot in HELL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Does your dad know any of this? If not, it's up to you if you want to tell him or not. You can always just say that you have your reasons for not going & your dad should respect that. If y'all were not that close, then i don't see the big deal. It night hurt your dad's feelings, it might not. Why don't you call him & ask him if it will hurt his feelings if you don't go?

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:11 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Wow! I think you need to do what's best for you. If you feel like if you don't go you might regret it then go. If you feel like you need to be there for your father then go. If you feel like you can't even stomach the idea of being anywhere near him then don't go. I really think it's something you have to decide for yourself. It's a powerful story.
    Jguevara

    Answer by Jguevara at 11:11 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • If it would bring you closure, then go. If it would be more painful for you to be there, then don't go. I believe that there are times in life where you need to do what is best for you and forget about everyone else. You dad is going through a hard time, I understand that, but he will survive it whether you are at the funeral or not. On the plus side, this won't come as shock to your dad, he knows it is coming so he will be able to prepare himself emotionally. My husband was in a similar situation, and if you want to talk to me about what he did, please feel free to PM me. Good luck.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:13 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • FORGIVENESS IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, ALTHOUGH I AGREE WITH YOU IN SAYING HE IS REPULSIVE. AFTER THIS MAN DIES HE CAN NO LONGER DO ANY MORE HARM TO ANYONE AND YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING OUT TO SUPPORT YOUR DAD REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM. IF YOUR DAD FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT HIM OR NOT HE IS STILL HIS DAD REGARDLESS OF HOW MANY REPULSIVE THING HE HAS DONE. I WOULD FOLLOW MY HEART ON THIS ONE I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD BAME YOU FOR NOT GOING.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:15 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I am assuming that..
    if your father knew what this man did to his daughter he would not have been taking care of him
    let alone expect you to go to his funeral
    do what is best for you
    tell your dad, if you think that he would want to know

    touch question, only you can decide, but if it were me i think i could not go, knowing how he hurt my own sister=no way
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 11:16 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • tough not touch-opps
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 11:17 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Have a chat with your dad if you can. If he knows, let him know the dilemma going on in your brain and how much it pains you to even think about going. And if he doesn't know, maybe you could broach the subject, a least a little... telling him that you had issues with grandpa and leave it at that, but for that reason you are finding it hard to will yourself to even want to go, but if he needs you, you can go, but JUST for him to lean on.
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:18 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I wouldn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

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