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Nightmares about being abandoned

My stepson is much more like my son. He sees his mother twice a week, but doesn't really enjoy going. He will try to avoid it if all possible. She constantly says she will come by or call, but never does. She doesn't answer when we call or return messages. Monday, he woke up at about 2 am screaming. He had had a dream that he followed his mom into a corn maze screaming for her attention, but she ignored him. Eventually he lost her in the maze and he was stuck there and didn't know how to get back out. Then last night, he started calling out for Mommy and saying "Don't make me go Daddy." So I went to check on him and tell him he would see his mom soon, but he said he wanted me. He needed me and Daddy to tell Shari (he hardly ever uses her real name) that he couldn't go there anymore. Then today, he didn't remember either encounter. We are looking into counselors today, but I am at a loss as to what to do.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Kids' Health

Answers (3)
  • Do you suppose he is coming to grips with things he isn't emotionally ready for? So he is suppressing them, but his subconscious is drudging it up? That happens a lot with rape and assault victims, children that were abused (emotionally, verbally, or physically) or persons with PTSD. I would just talk with him about how he is feeling, remind him that he has every right to feel the way he does. Explain that just because you love someone, doesn't mean things are perfect with them all the time. And just because you love someone, doesn't mean you don't occasionally get angry or sad because of them. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • How old is he? It seems like a very vivid dream for a little kid. I would also let him know that he will never be left alone anywhere and he doesnt have to worry about things like that. Remind him of how much you and your husband love him and will protect him. I really hope this goes away soon. Breaks my heart to think of a little one being scared like that. Best of luck to all of you.

    Answer by ashleyuc07 at 11:15 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I def. think you are doing the right thing about counseling. He is dealing with a lot of stress for a little guy. How hurtful his situation is. Kudo's to you for being a wonderfully supportive stepmom. He is very lucky to have you!

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:51 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

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