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How do you handle your SS who peed on his bedroom carpet.

The carpet is wet near my SS bed and it looks like he peed on the floor/carpeting. I stepped in it and my sock looked yellow. I'm not sure if it's water or urine, but I believe the latter. He is nearly 14 years old (very immature), but intellectually is very bright and a straight A student. My guess is he was to tired (and lazy) to go to the bathroom. How would you handle this? I was thinking that he should clean the carpet and sleep in the living room for a few days until the carpet is dry. What do you suggest?

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Asked by 3kidsatonce at 12:49 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (8)
  • Is this his way of retaliating about something that has happened in the home? Damn straight I would make him clean it, but I would also make him sleep in his room...period. I would also take away his video games, computer, phone privileges,etc. That is deplorable behavior and he needs to know right now that it will NOT be tolerated. Not only is it completely unacceptable, it is filthy and causes health risks...and a nasty odor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I would rent a steam cleaner and make him do the cleaning.. and if he gets an allowance you can make him pay for it too. Hands down whether it's water or pee it's still wrong to have something on the carpet like that and not let you know. If he spilled something he should have let you know about it right away. I would definetly have him be involved in whatever clean up you need to do... time to take responsibility for your actions.

    Answer by mars33me at 12:52 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I would just change his room floor from carpet to hardwood floor or something else. On another hand, buy a couple packages of big kids night time diaper underwears for him. If he didn't want to wear them, tell him to clean up the masses after himself because he is 14.

    Answer by ocsosomom at 12:59 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I'm w/the rest of you...def make him clean it!
    But, if I were you, I would watch him carefully. If this continues to happen, there's an underlying cause. Whether it be an infection, or abuse of some kind. (I'm not suggesting by you, one just never knows...).

    Answer by bridgeh2o at 1:03 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Thank-you for your answers. I do believe that he has some emotional problems and we had him tested at school last spring and he was diagnosed as "at risk" for ADHD and possibly ODD. He is defiant and disrespectful, but very intelligent and his teachers have said that he could be the top of his class if he set his mind to it, but they also see a "lazy" side to him. When asked to do something he'll often ask his younger sisters to do his "chore". I believe it's a case of just pure laziness, but as I said I'm not sure if its water or what. We have had other problems with him with stealing, lying keeping things from us. I had a talk last night and told him how he needs to tell us things and not to keep things from us. If he needs something to let us know and how I generally buy him things before he even asks as I see that he need new underwear, shoes, pants etc. thanks.

    Answer by 3kidsatonce at 1:10 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I would definitely talk to him, and ask him why in the world he would pee on the carpet. It's not like he peed the bed, he obviously (if it is pee) knew what he was doing. If he's too lazy to get out of bed to urinate, that's a problem. Have you asked him about it, straight forward? You never know, you might get an honest answer, and maybe have a good chance to ask a few more questions, and tell him what IS appropriate. Depending on the answer, I would look into a good therapist who has dealt with teens before. My first thought would be that either laziness (of that extent) or some kind of other problem, would probably be best dealt with by a professional. It just sounds like something else might be going on........Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Instead of having him tested at the school, please take him to see a doctor. They can get him a refural to see a child psychologist. I understand your frustrations but this NOT normal by any means and he needs help ASAP. Do not use the school for his therapy, insurance WILL pay for his medical and mental care. With everything you listed about your SS there is a problem and it is not laziness on his part. Get him help through the medical community before it is too late. There is no shame in getting him and probably your family help. The only shame would be in not following through and using the perceved laziness as an excuse. I went through some of the same issues and I had been abused by family "friends" and I needed help. Don't blame this on what you and the school thinks is just him being lazy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I am sure you will not be a lazy parent and make excuses for his "laziness". Show him and your other children how to use their resources and how to get help. I had a wonderful Step Momma who refused to believe that I was just "lazy". SHE got me the medical and mental help I needed. She was very proactive and I owe my sanity and well being to her. Be proactive, don't sit back and rely on the school and trust their judgement. Get him help like my loving Step Momma did for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

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