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Should I tell them ?

8 years ago i got married to my DH and we tried to get pregnant for 4 years after that. We had no success not even a miscarriage or anything. DH has a twin brother who wanted to help out, he offered to donate his sperm to possibly get me pregnant. DH said no and that if we weren't meant to be parents we wouldn't be.

Well i went behind DH's back and took him up on the offer, he donated to a bank and i went to the doctor and had it put in. I got pregnant with my twin boys and that was 3 years ago. My brother in law wants to keep it a secret but a part of me thinks that they should know. thoughts?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • Yes, I think you should.

    Answer by austinsmama1106 at 1:50 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • If you want to hold onto your family keep your mouth shut.. this is a serious heavy issue that shouldnt be talked about.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Why would you go behind hs back? Does he know now? You have a very serious problem on you hands.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • i dont think you should have gone behind your hubbys back in the first place. but i agree with anon if you want your family keep your mouth shut. if youre feeling guilty you know it was wrong and you shouldnt have done it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • OMG, yeah I bet you went to the bank! Sounds like you two probably slept together! I can't believe someone would do that behind their husbands back, you got pregnant with another mans babies, that's ADULTRY! You and your husband should get counseling before this eats you alive and the situation gets more severe, have you and the BIL (brother in law) talked about being together as a family with the twins?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Are you sure you didn't sleep with the twin? That is what your husband is going to think. It won't matter if you prove it was medically done he will feel betrayed by you and his brother.

    That said I don't believe your story for one second. Your doctor would not allow your husband to sign the birth certificate knowing those babies were not his and he was not on board with the procedure. So I believe you are a liar.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • He should know the truth, he doesn't need to be married to a woman like you, he has a chance to move on with his life, whether he can have kids or not, that wasn't right of you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I think you should tell him, if you have a strong marriage then you should be able to tell him. Also remember he has every right to be upset and feel betrayed. I don't think I would be able to sleep at night knowing I have that secret to keep, also your children are going to need to know who their bio-father is later on and it will be easier to tell them with support from your husband. GL I would not want to be in your shoes.JMO

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Wow. Ummmm you got yourself into a messy situation and you better tell him now because someone will slip and he WILL find out. This is a really big deal and your husband is going to really hurt and if I were you I would be ready for a major fallout.

    Answer by Lauren24 at 2:00 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • So your husband thinks that he got you pregnant? That's a huge betrayal as far as I'm concerned. I can't believe you thought that was okay. How would you feel if he went behind your back and got your sister pregnant? And never told you until 3 YEARS later?

    Answer by Bmanda352 at 2:01 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

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