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so my SO and i were suppost to get married next week....

but his team leader does not think its a good idea
so he wants him to wait a month
but in a month he is gonna be doing all the trainning (sp?)
for deployment and its gonna be hard for him to get some free time
so he said we could wait till the month before he gets deployed
i had my heart set on next week
now its not gonna be a big wedding it was gonna be a court house wedding
then when he got back from deployment we were gonna have a big wedding
any way am i being stuck up cuz i dont want to wait to marrie him???????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (15)
  • If you guys are truly in love you will get married on the date you guys picked, why is he listening to his trainer, maybe I'd wait till after training and this transition is over if you guys still want to be together.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 2:11 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • No, of course you're not. Who the hell is his team leader to decide when you get married????? I would be furious.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:12 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • What say does his team leader have in who and when he gets married? Do you really want to marry someone who is SO committed that he will let someone not even related to him talk him out of it? Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. It just baffles me why this other person has any reason to have say in the matter? Did you have an appointment with a judge already? Here they are kinda rude if you don't show up
    Knowing nothing about the military, if you wait till just before he is deployed, is that going to affect how/when he gets paid, separation pay? is there paperwork that needs to be filled out/filed? Might want to get married soon enough to have that all taken care of.
    Good luck, and best wishes
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 2:13 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Get married next week so you can get the benefits, it is about the only thing good about being married to someone in the military.
    emnasmom

    Answer by emnasmom at 2:24 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • im not marring him for the benefits im marring him cuz i love him and i want to spend my life with him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • there is a ton of paperwork that will need done between you guys getting married and him deploying. you will have to change his BAH, BAS, COLA (if he receives it), get housing if you want it, enroll you in tricare and deers, and depending on where he is stationed you may have to get command sponsored. His team leader will have to be in on all of this. but here's a question, WHY does his team leader want him to wait? there has to be a reason. don't just go off and do it anyway until you find out what it is or it could get your hubby in trouble. if it's just something as simple as the team leader not having time to do the paper work, then your hubby can talk to him and tell him whatever you guys decide to do. if you need any more help or have any other questions about military wifehood, please feel free to pm me!
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 2:28 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • emnasmam- how could you say that? the benefits are not the only good reason to marry someone in the military. true, there are some that only marry for the benefits, but then there are those of us that truly love our husbands.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 2:30 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • How long have you two been together? How long have you known each other?

    Those are usually the reasons why a team leader would ask him to wait. If he's been around a while, he knows that too many people get married when only knowing each other a very short time, and get divorced shortly after.

    My DH had a soldier who got married only knowing the girl 5 days, right after he came home from 15 months in Iraq. 3 months later, they were getting a divorce.

    So if you haven't been together all that long, it is probably best to wait. Give it time to make sure it's what you want.

    Technically, the team leader does not have the authority to tell him he cannot get married. But he can counsel him and tell him that it's not a good idea.

    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:35 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • emnasmam- how could you say that? the benefits are not the only good reason to marry someone in the military. true, there are some that only marry for the benefits, but then there are those of us that truly love our husbands.
    __
    I'm with you. There are many, many good things about being a military wife, and the benefits is only a small part of it.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:36 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • this is the op
    we dated for a year
    then we took a brake cuz i was going to school in another state
    i came back and he was in the army
    we have been together again for 6 months
    and i know he is the one i want to spend my life with i all ways have
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

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