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why don't kids want there mom to....

my kids was 12 and 10 at the time when i took in a 14 yr old boy whos parents was useing drugs. they hated having the boy there. he was a really good kid. he lived with us for 5 months then he left and went back to his moms. now i just got back in touch with this boy who is now 18 and fixing to be a dad. he told me the way his life was after he left my house it just breaks my heart. my son still holds this grudge against this boy for him taking time away from me and him. why cant he get over this. my son is 15 and dont want me to talk to this boy. i cant turn my back on this kid again. he is all alone and has nothing. what can i do to show my son i love him and nothing is going to come between us? i can't let this other boy who calls me mom do with out? what can i do? please help!!

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okc-mom-2

Asked by okc-mom-2 at 2:38 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • SOUNDS TO ME YOUR SON IS A BIT SELFISH OR MAYBE THERE ARE OTHER MOTIVES HE IS NOT TELLING YOU. HE SHOULD BE GLAD HE HAS A MOM WHO CARES FOR THE UNDERDOG, THERE AREN'T TOO MANY OF YOU AROUND. MY ADVICE IS TO TALK TO HIM LIKE AN ADULT AND EXPLAIN THAT YOUR LOVE FOR HIM WILL NOT BE ANY LESS BECAUSE YOU HELP THE OTHER GUY OUT, GET HIM TO EXPLAIN THE WHY IN HIS BEHAVIOUR.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:43 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • wow. first i want to say you're a strong woman helping out in such a tough situation. as far as your son. maybe you didnt mean to but it may be possible this other boy got a little extra attention because of such a hard life before you. you know that your kids are safe, and are not hurting that way so they didnt need "fixing". it may not be that you ignored your son, but because of how old he was when it happened, it probably seems more severe to him. i remember things when i was that age and it seemed like the world was ending with an argument. he may feel that now he's coming to you as a way out instead of facing his problem. you probably just need to sit down with your son and explain like you did to us why you feel the need to help. i know you shouldnt have to explain yourself to your kids, but maybe this time it is warranted. he needs to know you love them and really feel this boy needs help. GOOD LUCK!!!!
    AmandaN1

    Answer by AmandaN1 at 2:43 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • You need to explain to your son that this child has a mother that doesn't necessarily care about him the way that a mom should love a child. You were there once for him and he respects that about you and calls you mom. Just b/c you love another child doesn't mean that you love your son any less. You didn't take time away from your child before and you won't now. Your 15 yo needs a reality check about the world not revolving around him. I had to have one at that age too. You don't necessarily spend less time with your children but extend the amount of love you have to share. I hope that this makes sense. I wish you luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 2:44 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I think it's great you want to help this young man who is about to be a father.

    Why can't your son get over being upset you took him in and gave him attention? Why doesn't he want you to spend time with this young man now? His value system. This is a good time for you to change your son's value system and make him a better person.

    Explain to your son why you are helping the young man. Tell him how important it is to help others and how that should be part of everyone's life. Get him involved in community service helping people or animals.

    Ask the other young man to not call you mom. It may be nice for him and you but it's confusing and I can understand how that could upset your kids. Ask him to call you by your first name.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 2:48 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Round up all the above answers and it's pretty much what I was going to say.
    Have a talk with your son about being friends to others and that you are the adult and will talk to whom you choose too and if he doesn't like, that is his choice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Sounds like your son is a spoiled brat, or has other issues within himself. He should understand you are doing something good for someone, offering a helping hand, does he not do nice things for people????????? You are an adult and if you choose to have someone in your life it's not his buisness.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 3:55 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

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