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horrible, horrible situation!!

My bf of 15 years confided that she's been having an affair with her sister's husband. Not only that, but she got pregnant by him and had an abortion. I am also friends with her sister...and yes, her husband is an asshole. Not excusing my bf at all. She says that she wants to stop seeing him and that she doesn't love him. I think she's just bored and very hurt (her marriage ended almost a year ago). From what she said, her b-i-l took the opportunity to slide his way in and now she's a total mess. I love her and her family, but don't want to be apart of the drama when shit hits the fan. Should I just walk away from a 15 year friendship?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Tell her that she's gotten herself into this mess and she's got to get herself out. You are not going to say a word about ANY of it to any one. That she has to tell this guy to back off. If he doesn't want to back off she's going to have to tell her sister.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Maybe you should tell her something like If you don't tell her I will. If you really don't care and don't want to be friends with either then don't say anything. If her sister finds out that you knew she's going to be mad at you. Or think about it this way. If that was you and your friend knew would you want her to tell you? Would you be mad if your friend didn't tell you?
    Jguevara

    Answer by Jguevara at 3:37 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I would just stay away. have a talk with your best friend and tell her she needs to tell her sister or you no longer want to be her friend.
    tatalalicious

    Answer by tatalalicious at 3:37 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Honestly, RUN!!! This is not your drama stay out. Odds are if the sister married a man who is obviously an asshole she isn't going to believe you or accept it. As for your friend try to build her back up so she has the self esteem and presence of mind to see her actions as wrong and end it.
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 3:38 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Why do you think that you have to walk away from 15 years friendship with her?
    ocsosomom

    Answer by ocsosomom at 3:40 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Whats done in the dark will come to light sooner or later. I wouldn't say walk away from the friendship but if she can do this to her sister she can do it to you so watch out. Tell her that she needs to tell her sis, wheather its a letter, email, phone call, text message, she just needs to tell her and be sincere about it. She shouldn't want her sis with some1 like that anyway. And if the BIL and her sis divorce or something he may just tell it all so she needs to go on and do it herself. But your friend needs you...and her sis so be there for her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • BusyLovingHim, u have a good point. I can't tell you how many times I've thought the exact same thing. I mean, if you'll sleep with your own sister's hubby, whose hubby wouldn't you sleep with? I just don't know if it's my place to say anything at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Holy smokes! If she'll screw her sister husband she will screw anyone who's interested. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that. I might stay an e-mail buddy but wouldn't be having her around my husband and family. What a skank!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • If your sister's bestfriend, that you were also friends with, knew that your sister was having an affair with your husband would you want her to tell you? I would.
    I would figure out a way to make sure she found out without actually having to tell her. I feel really bad for the sister. She should know about it so that she can make a choice to leave him or work on the marriage. It could be that she's tired of being with an asshole but doens't have a good enough reason to divorce him.

    And I would drop that 15 year friendship in a heartbeat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • if you'll sleep with your own sister's hubby, whose hubby wouldn't you sleep with? I
    =============excellent point
    this friend one yours is the biggest loser, she fucks her SISTER'S husband because she is bored! but wants to stop and does not love him

    why would you ever want to be friends with a person like this, sounds to me that you have wasted 15 years on someone who no one should trust and has as much moral backbone as pond scum

    stay as far away from this person as you can, it is not yours or anyone elses job to give this excuse of a woman a backbone, moral character, or a thread of self esteem
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 4:00 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

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