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Should i accept this kind of help when i bring her home or do you think we'll be fine?

so me and my husband live a good 6 hours away from all friends and family.. everyone who is baby experienced has work or their own little ones to take care of... my counselor asked me yesterday who was gonna help us out when we first brought her home and my answer was simple" my husband is gonna be getting maternity leave fore about a week and then after that we'll manage by taking turns i dont know anyone out here since we just moved in the area so i really have no other help" she got all wide eyed and concerned since this is my first baby and i dont have much baby experience.. and is trying to put me in some program were a nurse comes out and helps me for 3-6 hours a day.. i dunno about this.... i mean why cant me and my husband handle this ourselfs? think we can or maybe i should really accept the help? guess im just nervous about the idea of strangers handling my baby and being in my home while hes at work....

 
armymum1013

Asked by armymum1013 at 4:21 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (13)
  • Whether this is your first or your third, the facts are facts. You will learn. If you don't want some stranger coming in and being in your way and touching your baby, then don't accept the help. I'm sure you'll do fine on your own. It sounds to me like you already have a touch of the "mama bear" which means your mother instincts have already kicked in. For me, the "mama bear" thing got worse after my 1st was born and I just wanted to be left the heck alone. If you are undecided then you can always try it out and see if it works out for you and then if you find it's not, say that you are done with needing help. Don't let someone make you feel like you can't do it on your own though dear, plenty of people have.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:13 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I would be nervous about it, but I would have also like the help. But I would be concerned that they would be there to interfer and take my baby from me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I dunno. It gets pretty tiring the first week or two especially since it's just eat and poo. :) But you'll not feel like doing much and I had my mom stop by almost every day to help clean up a little. But I think I would have been OK without her, but it was a big help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • If it makes you uncomfortable to have other people in your house then it's not going to be a help to have the nurse around because it will just stress you out. I woudln't worry too much. THe first week is pretty hard, but if there's 2 of you you'll probably be OK. After that it will be hard on your own but just take it really easy on yourself and don't beat yourself up about anything if you think you are doing the wrong thing, and you should be OK.
    mummy22kids

    Answer by mummy22kids at 4:24 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • You will be fine, I didn't have any help after my first daughter was born, my husband worked crazy hours and I did great, you'r mommy sense will kick in and you'll know what to do. You don't have to have help.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 4:41 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • This is just weird to me. I didn't have any help other than my husband after our first baby and we did just fine. Why would a mother not be capable of caring for her newborn?

    Sure, help is great if you have family or a friend that is willing to help, but it's not necessary. From the OP's post it sounds like the counselor (and what kind of counselor are we talking about here?) either thinks this particular mother is unfit, or all new mothers are unfit morons.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I would take the help!!!! We were offered that kind of program, and I really wish that I had accepted it. It's an awesome help to have an extra, experienced hand around so that you can get some dishes, laundry, or general cleaning done. it will also help if you have problems or questions, knowing that someone is around who can answer your questions without judging.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 4:50 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • OK, a baby can be really frustrating. You could get a really easy baby and then you could get a really fussy baby. Either way, you will need a break. If your baby cries for 4 or 5 hours straight and you don't have any back up, some horrible things could happen to that baby. Also, if you have Postpartum Depression, that could put a lot of strain on both you and the baby. Or if you have to   C-section. I hope you think about it. Just give it a try. You don't have to give your baby to the nurse. You can do everything yourself, but the nurse is there to give you a break if you need it and to help you out. Good luck. That baby is going to change everything.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 5:05 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I would accept the help!!! My son had lots of belly issues - making him really, really fussy and did NOT sleep. It was sooo hard not having family nearby! My husband was wonderful, but worked long hours. I agree with krissyvelaquez - even if you have an easy baby -you may need a break, someone to trouble-shoot with, or just some company - who can give you educated advice on baby's growth & development! DEFINITELY give the nurse a try, you can always say "thanks, but I'm good" after a few visits.
    mevxoxo

    Answer by mevxoxo at 5:42 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Women/parents have been taking care of babies alone for centuries. If they want to stop by for a few minutes to check up and see if you need anything is one thing but someone there for 6 hours is just going to get in your way and make it hard to settle in. I would ask what they are going to do while they are there. Will they watch the baby while you nap? Are they going to do dishes, cook and clean house? I doubt it but I personally wouldn't want anyone there in my way. I was thrilled when my mom and husband went to work each day so I could figure it all out on my own with my first child. It's whatever you feel good about
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:59 PM on Sep. 9, 2009