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How do I get her to understand?

That she needs to do her chores right the first time? She needs to follow the rules of the home? To be more respectful? The most is to not be so damn scatterbrained and ditzy! I know she is going into puberty but damn. I feel like I want to rip my hair out! There are days where she is told 20 times a day, and 2 seconds later she is like oh I forgot?!?! Forgot what did you even process that?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • That sounds frustrating, but a lot of that goes with the territory. Part of raising children is making them go back and re-do chores, reminding them of the rules, and making them stick to their promises. Be thankful she's not out doing drugs and having sex! My mom always made me write sentences or write an essay. I had to say it was pretty effective because "oh, I forgot!" was never a good enough excuse. I'm a good mom now and I get all my chores done...most of the time hehehe.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 4:44 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Oh the joys of tweens/teens! Mine is 13, she does what she is told, right when she is told, but thats only because she knows I will take things away. But I do remember those "Oh I forgot" days. I remember using that one myself.... You see, if I "forget" then maybe I won't have to do it.... I would just tell her to do something and tell her she has so many minutes (u decide depending on her chores) to get things done. If she doesn't get it done then things will be taken away. And be sure to take the things that mean the most to her, TV, phone, radio, games, outside time, friends,whtever she likes. Stick to it though and I bet in a short time, she will learn that "Oh I forgot" trick doesn't work anymore... Good Luck
    JustPlainOlMOM

    Answer by JustPlainOlMOM at 4:52 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Maybe she does genuinely forget things? I know I forgot ALOT of things at that age (and hell I still do) if it wasn't important enough for me to remember (and chores were one of those things) i'd forget it the second I was told. It wasn't that I was playing dumb I just genuinely forgot.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • AREN'T THOSE PRETEEN YEARS WONDERFUL!!! BUT WAIT YOU STILL GOT THE TEENS TO LOOK FORWARD TO! HANG IN THERE MOM, IT WILL BE OVER BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, PATIENCE......EVERYTHING COMES AND EVERYTHING GOES!
    older

    Answer by older at 7:12 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Yes! Patience is the key word. I have and 11 year old and oh my! She is so forgetful. I want to pull my hair out too..lots of times lol..but then I stop and remind myself she's not 31, and can't expect her to think or be like me..good luck mom..and just hang in there...
    mcdthree

    Answer by mcdthree at 10:53 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Why do her chores need to be done right the first time? Can't you be happy with her doing the chores at all? No one is perfect...she needs time to learn how to do things and it may not always be perfect or right the first time. She is still a KID not an adult. Also, a lot of people are forgetful, I know I am. Make her a list and post it somewhere that she will see it the most. Give her reminders. Be patient.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:22 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Scatterbrained and ditzy are pretty strong words... I really hope you don't say them to her, like my mom did to me (she also called me dipsh!t, lazy, and dumba$$, but that's another story).

    My kids sometimes have trouble doing their chores right the first time. That's normal kiddo stuff... after all, we as moms have had YEARS to perfect our ways of doing things! Have you given her an actual physical demonstration of what you want her to do? And after that watched her do it? Praised her mightily when she did it right? Respectfully corrected her when she didn't do it they way you asked?

    As far as being respectful and following rules, do you have a concrete plan in place when she makes bad choices? Our kids get things taken away... believe me, taking away a Bakugan from a 6 year old is pretty darned powerful, as is taking time with her friends or the TV away from an 11 year old.
    crittermomma

    Answer by crittermomma at 4:08 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • I know how frustrating it can be, I was the same way as a kid and know all of the 'oh, I forgots' are not always forgot, So when my 9 y/o started following in my footsteps, I got creative. I wrote out her chores step by step on index cards and they are posted on her bulletin board. At the end of the week she gets her allowance. However, if her chores are not done (or not done right) there is a specific deduction for each. I know that they are kids, but I also know that there is a difference in trying and making excuses. In addition to her allowance, I say thank you. She knows that by doing her chores, she is helping us.
    bracketrat

    Answer by bracketrat at 11:52 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • bracketrat is right. Write it down then there is no "oh i forgot" or "i didnt know" Heck my daughter got creative and started throwing out the list and blaming it on her teenage aunt so i would type it up and print off 3 times one on her door, one on her computer and one on the fridge :) a also wouls email here and say - i hope all your chores are done before you are on this thing.

    I'm a single mom that works, goes to school and has a 12 and 2 year, so I also started limiting what "HAD" to be done in the week to simple things (dishes, keep room clean and vaccuming every other day) and doing more on Saturday mornings. i would list out all things i had to do and her and i would split them. We would pick out a fun activity to do together as an award. then it was not all mom being bossy. it was team work.
    roxyann76

    Answer by roxyann76 at 2:56 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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