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Parents seperating, affecting 3 yr old son. Help!

I need a lot of advice on how to deal with getting my son through this divorce situation. He is so confused at 3 years of age, being tossed back and forth from one house during the week to another house on the weekends. It's only been two weeks, but I see how emotional and upset he is and really confused. He is acting out by spilling his juice everywhere, doing naughty things, he normarlly knows is wrong. He is my entire world, but I myself am not doing well with this seperation either and am losing my patience with is outbursts and sneaky little things he's pulling. I really really need all the help I can get from all the moms on here. Thank you so much. Megan.

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sundaeshooter

Asked by sundaeshooter at 4:38 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Counseling, and being the best mom and there for him that you can.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 4:45 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I agree with the above post reply -er. Space of his own is important, and FRIENDS. He isn't the problem of this divorce, he's the result. It's the result (not bashing, sorry) cuz of the back and forth as you say, perhaps take him to a nice restaurant before going to see daddy, and promise him a treat when he gets home, and some space to boot.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I am so sorry you are going through this. You have to be strong, for the sake of your son. Focus on him and just take one day at a time. You do not have patience because right now you are probably so emotionally stressed, which is expected. Your little one is probably just so confused. Assure him of the love you both have for him. Maybe just take some time to do something special that you and your son can enjoy. I hope things get better....
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 8:16 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I also agree with the above posts.... TIME is the key here... and it may take a lot of it. The fact that he is sooo young makes it harder for him to understand and harder for you. It is harder for you since he is at the point where he does need your interaction just about all the time.
    Trying to spend quality time with him... or trying to remind him that he shouldn't really do the 'bad' things' while he is with you might help calm the waters.
    I think the constant back and forth is VERY hard on children of any age.. but at this age, where routine and a known schedule is sooo important,,,,, that has been taken away from him.
    IS there a way where he does not have to go back and forth sooo much? He probably feels like a ping pong ball.

    Hang in there and just keep reminding him that wherever he is... you always love him.

    Bren
    BrenMOM

    Answer by BrenMOM at 8:04 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I agree he needs time, but remember if you are not handling it well he can sense that and will feed off your feelings.You really need him to be good and not add to the stress you already feel but he is 3 and does not have the ability to understand what is going on, and remember when he is testing you, and he will, that if it's hard for you and you know what and why this is happening, think how hard and confusing it must be on him. If you can just put that thought 1st when you are feeling frustrated with his behavior it may help you to be more patient. Also talk to him about how he is feeling any chance you get, let him know you understand he is confused and hurt and he has a right to feel that way and it's ok and you understand and love him no matter what happens between you and his father you both love him so much and just keep reassuring him as much as possible that it is not his fault.

    kandmsm0m

    Answer by kandmsm0m at 11:29 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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