Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ever feel a certain way toward your husband?

My husband works hard, but when he is home he is straight up lazy. I have to tell him don't forget to take the trash out,put your dishes in the dishwasher, can you bath our child,can you help me do this. You get the point. I'm feeling depressed because I'm basically doing everything. I SAH so I don't expect him to clean bathrooms, clean the kitchen floors, dust. The only thing I ask is that he helps out somewhat when he is home. I'm feeling depressed, and although I love him very much it's hard for me to like him. Anyone else ever feel this way? I have tried talking to him and goes in one and out the other.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • OMG I feel like that everyday. I work just as hard as my DH. I have a fulltime job, a part time college student, and I help my DD with homework, go to the hospital in the mornings with my brother who had a brain injury. And top it off I cook breakfast and make a dinner that my DH and DD can heat up when they get home or it just be getting done. And when I get off at 11 pm I still have to go home and do everything he didn't do which is laundry, sweeping, mopping, dusting, etc. I even take the damn trash out, clean the pool so on and so on... I am feeling you girl....
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 7:47 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • im dont wanna sound mean but does he call you from work so you can do part of his job? no! ask nicely and never make him feel he has to,he is being a blessing to you and your kids and because he is not taking out the trash your making him feel horrible,im a sahm and no my hubby dont come home lazy he comes home tired which is totally different, why get sad over something like that,i ask mine to take out the trash if he dont after a while i do.get out with your babies maybie your feeling trapped in the house and you think its him thats making you feel this way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Thats pretty much how my hubby is. When he comes home he vegs and doesnt wanna be bothered by pretty much anyone or thing.

    The only thing Ive ever asked of him was to hang with the boys and occasionally help me while I am trying to muddle through things with all 3 boys. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesnt.

    Ya, it gets annoying sometimes but I just figure this is how he was before we married and had kids so I cant fully expect him to do a 180 turn now that we have kids. He works his ass off and I appreciate that but the constant reminding does get annoying and he knows it...but that doesnt change it either.

    In the end, I pick my battles. I say to myself is it worth it and if it is then I press forward with nagging him. Most of the time its not though because he is who he is and I married him anyway.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 7:49 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • YES! it's not just you. Although I work PT for 6 hours 5 days a week I never seem to get him to understand why I want him to help me when we get home. It makes me so mad I tell him he's unappreciative and that he doesn't deserve me or that he'll never find anyone who will put up with stuff like I do LOL. I know it sounds mean but that's soemthing I can't help when I get angry about that. That will like light a fire in me when he says " i'm tired I've worked all day" what the heck does he think it's like working and then comming home making dinner cleaning up the house and taking care of a baby. What I wouldn't do to have an 8 hour a day job 7 days a week and not have to do anything else unless I wanted to the rest of the day.
    AshleyG.

    Answer by AshleyG. at 7:54 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • are we both married to the same man?
    did i write this question and block it from my memory?
    or am i really you and you me and we are in a parellal world?

    i still remember the day over a year ago that he cleaned the kitchen, (not the way i would have cleaned, but his definition of cleaning and i did not ask him too) i actually thought he had done something really bad and that is why he cleaned, and maybe he did, if so he has not done whatever made him feel guilty enough to clean because it has not happened since. i should have written it down on the calendar, so i could celebrate it every year. not like it will ever happen again but celebrate the event...like Christmas or Easter or the Fourth of July, these things too happened only once but we celebrate every year

    in answer to your question............yes, i have an idea of how you feel,
    welcome aboard the boat is very full, i suppect we are not the only ones
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 7:55 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Only all the time. TBH, I don't think you should have to ask for some help when he is around. It's really not too much to ask that they remember to take out the trash. It's also not too much to ask that they spend some time with the children they helped create. It's ridiculous how much crap men get away with. God forbid one actually come home and help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • OP HERE: First off I get out off the house plenty of times with my child, I am very active do ten million things during the day. No my husband doesn't call me to do his job, but housework doesn't mean ALL a woman's job. If he was single he would have to take his trash out and clean his own clothes. I just don't put up with a lazy man. I worked full-time(2 jobs at one time) and went to college and did all the housework. Just because you give your man an excuse doesn't mean the rest of us do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • The thing that men don't grasp is they get to clock out and go home to sit on their rear end while moms don't get off work. Ever. We're on call 24 hours a day. They seem to have something in their brain that blocks that bit of fact.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 8:42 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN