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what would you do in this situation? plzzzz help!

Today DHHS came to my husbands and my home, my husband has a 7 yr old son with another women and he gets in so much trouble. well a couple weeks ago he stepped on his mom's new 5 day old baby and sent him to the hospital(he is ok now). DHHS found out about this and came to talk to us about what we thought and asked if he had ever hurt his lil sister and he had tried so that's why he went back to live with his mom. well the question we are faced with is the DHHS lady said if this happens again with his moms baby than we would have to take him back into our home or else my husband would be listed as a neglectful father. so if you had to make this decision have neglection of a childs welfare on your record or make sure your daughter is safe what would you all do?

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Asked by heather8406 at 8:12 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (24)
  • well there is always military school...

    Answer by Lovebeingmomto1 at 8:13 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Why not get this boy some help it's his son for goodness sake why so quick to give up on him?

    Answer by abellvalerie at 8:15 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • You are afraid your husband's son would hurt your daughter. So the choice is let the little monster live with you or let your husband have on his record that he is a neglectful father. If you don't want his son in your home then let it be on your husband's record.

    If the boy is hurting others on purpose then he needs to get help.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 8:18 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • First, I would get the hospital report and show where he had injured your child as well. My first question is, is the boy in counseling? That is where he needs to be. Weekly sessions until you figure out where this rage is coming from. I have dealt with a child with rage issues. Dss tried to smother his baby brother after locking the doors to keep dh and I out, we had to break down a door to get to him. These issues do NOT resolve themselves, you HAVE to be working with him consistently. So, if you can do it, then I would take him back, but if not, then show your position, you have a child to protect as well.

    Answer by Petie at 8:19 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • GET HIM HELP!!! If the mom isn't going to do it then the father needs to do it.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 8:21 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • First get this child some help now... second go talk to an attorney who specializes in cases like this and find out facts about what this DHHS says to be true... sometimes they will lie to the other parent in hopes to prevent throwing a kid into the system... (i.e... foster care) and if he has tried to hurt your dd ... you need to document it all....
    But in the mean time get this kid into therapy before it's to late....

    Good Luck

    Answer by gmasboy at 8:53 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • to answer most everyones questions: my husbands son has been in weekly counseling since age 5 and in in-patient psychiatric centers we have done everything possible so for some of you who wrote that my DH was giving up on his son well he isn't but when a parents tries all avenues and still nothing that doesn't make him a bad dad(does it?)

    Answer by heather8406 at 9:04 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Why is the mother's new baby more important than your DD?

    I mean if the son tried to hurt his step-sister living at your house and was sent to live with his mother; who then had a new baby...WHY is your husband the neglectful one? Why is she allowed to protect her newborn from her first born; and your husband is not??

    Very strange...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • It sounds like they're lying to you. You should contact an attorney and find out the truth about the situation. The bottom line is obviously that you don't want this boy around your daughter and you shouldn't be threatened like that. If you don't want to send him into the system, look into military schools or really any live-away school. It sounds like he needs to some serious help and you won't be able to give it to him if you're fending him off his sister. Pull up any records you have on him hurting your daughter and bring them with you to the attorney. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully you can find a situation that helps everyone.

    Answer by flitpixie at 9:40 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • heather--no, your dh is not a bad father, but it sounds like this child has been shuffled around during all this which doesn't help his therapy at all. And it sounds like another change is about to happen. Poor guy. What is his diagnosis at this point?

    Answer by Petie at 9:41 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

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